I've said it before, and I'm sure I will again, but everyone should be required to work at least some time in retail just so they can appreciate what people in retail have to go through.  It would make them understand what it takes to give good service.

I've got over 20 years in retail. What gets me more is when I am in another store, wearing a coat, pushing a shopping cart, with a list, putting things in the basket and people start asking where things are located. I tell them I have no idea and they usually say, "Oh, I thought you worked here." I may have a carabiner with multiple keys on it (well, then); but the fact that I am removing things from a shelf and putting them into my basket, crossing off a list, while wearing a coat and hat should be a pretty obvious indication that I am shopping.

I discussed this with a co-manager and she opined that it's probably due to the fact that we actually make eye contact with people, even when we aren't in our own store. You are just used to it, from spending 40+ hours doing it.

I spent 20 years as a bookseller, and got all kinds of strange questions. The strangest was a phone call that went: "Do you have a crown of thorns?"

"Is that the title of the book?"

"No, a crown of thorns, like Jesus wore...."

The name "bookseller" is on the side of the building, the company is listed under bookstores, retail, in the yellow pages, and some nut thinks we carry replica religious iconography. That was a new one.

I once had a person, standing in the Fiction section, in the Ks, who couldn't find Stephen King. He was standing in front of a bay that was 2/3 filled with Stephen King novels. I just stood there and swept my hand out, across the bay, ala a game show model. For a minute there, I thought I might have to read the book to them.

Politics was a big problem for us and election years were a nightmare, filled with minefields. Any display of political books had us literally counting the number representing each side, so as not to appear biased one way or another; yet, someone was always offended by some book, accused us of bias and would say they would never shop here again, even as we point to books that upheld their ideology (or ignorance, in many cases). I even had someone try to bait one of my younger employees. They wanted their opinion on a specific book, obviously in a manner that didn't suggest they wanted a recommendation. The bookseller was professional and kept avoiding giving a personal opinion and only spoke in terms of other customers. That wasn't enough and the person kept pushing and pushing them, until they finally said they didn't care for the book. The person then pounced on them, verbally and started berating their opinion. i caught the latter part of the exchange as I was making my way over to intercede. I told the bookseller they were needed elsewhere, then turned to the "customer" and told them I didn't appreciate what they had just done. they feigned ignorance. i told them I overheard my employee acting purely professionally, keeping their personal feelings out of the discussion; but that you couldn't let it rest at that. I told him that my employees weren't there to serve as his verbal punching bags and that if he did it again he would be asked to leave the store. I also told him the First Amendment gives everyone the right to voice their own opinion and that they had the right to differ with his. He didn't utter another word.

I had another employee who was Azerbaijani, from birth; but, grew up in Montreal, Quebec. She had a, accent; but, spoke perfectly excellent English. Her accent was actually more Quebecois, than anything else. She answered the phone politely and professionally and then burst into tears, handing it to me, as she went off. I asked the customer on the line if there was a problem and the customer said they had heard the accent and asked to speak to someone who spoke English. I told them they had spoken to someone who did and I didn't appreciate their rude comments to my employee and told them that if they had a problem with that they were welcome to take their business elsewhere.

Some people think that being in the service industry makes you somehow less than them; they make it hell. then, there are the vast majority, who are perfectly polite and appreciative of the help and give a genuine thank you. Then, there are the extraordinary, who do things like bring in fresh vegetables from their garden, or baked goods; or, in the case of one regular customer, gave me the first three volumes of the IDW Terry & The Pirates collection, knowing that I was a comic history student and a fan of Caniff.

There he said it!

-M

I have experienced this before; including with intimate partners (I'm not getting into that here), but also with an old therapist of mine.

He would just constantly ask me, "Are you sure?" and would even tell me "That's not what you said last session" and worse. He would word them in way though, that I often didn't quite understand at first, but it would just stick with me all week. Implications of being "too imaginative" or "too sensitive".

I have never been spoken to or asked these things before or since from any other psychologists. I am not delusional and have no history of it. It went on for three years until I finally just completely broke down. I was still a teenager at the time, so I mean how much more vulnerable can you be?