GI JOE Yearbook #1Michael Golden handling the commercial....I mean cover.
This reprints the Dr Burkhart rescue, from issue #1. It then has a recap of the storylines up to its publication (the first 3 years). There are also uncredited profiles (possibly drawn by Herb Trimpe). For instance, did you know that Cutter's real name is Skip Stone?
I can see why they used codenames. While we are on the subject, I think it is time to subject Larry Hama to a random unrinalysis.
Welcome to the Modern Army! Now fill this cup while I stand over you.
There is also a guide to the cartoon, which, at that point, was just the toy and comic commercials and the original mini-series.
Since that is pretty much all there is to it (besides a lot of hard-selling for the toys and comics), let's jump ahead to .....
GI JOE Yearbook #2Michael Golden, again, for the win. I don't know how much weapons firing Golden has ever done, but no trained Airborne soldier is firing a rifle from the hip, like Ripcord. Then again, US Airborne did not carry Belgian FN FAL battle rifles into combat.
Roadblock is still toting around the 75 lbs of M2 Browning .50 cal. I hope he has a truss!
Lady J showing off her battle cleavage. I'm not sure which is the bigger sin; depicting a woman in combat when they were legally barred from that, at the time or the idea that a trained soldier would go into combat with her top unzipped practically to her waist. I don't think this is exactly striking the right blow for diversity.
Now, Torpedo has got the right idea....or Golden did his research, because he is sporting the Stoner 63 light machine gun. This weapon was designed by Eugene Stoner, the man who designed the AR-15 rifle, which was adopted by the US Army as the M-16. Stoner's idea here was a weapon that could, with minor modification, fulfill the role of an assault rifle or a light machine gun. It could fire 5.56 mm ammo from a linked belt or from a box magazine. The US Army tested it, but chose not to adopt it (it was a little pricey and they had already investing in the M-16); but, the US Navy bought some for use by the Navy SEALs, as it gave them extended firepower, in a compact package, making a great improvement over the M-60 machine gun. The experiences with it in Vietnam later influenced the testing and adoption of the FN Minimi light machine gun as the M249 Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW). Like the Stoner 63, the M249 could fire linked ammo or from a standard M-16 magazine. It was about the same size and weight as the Stoner and employed in much the same way. There is also a paratrooper version, with collapsible stock.
I actually had to look at some photos to determine if Golden intended the Stoner or the Minimi, since they have a similar design; but, it is definitely the Stoner, based on the barrel and the sights on the upper receiver. Also, the SAW was just being adopted by the Army and Marine Corps and, unless Golden kept up with military firearms testing and adoption, he probably would have been unaware (though a subscription to Guns and Ammo would probably give him that info, in between articles justifying obrtaining an armory, to ward off those unseen potential marauders who were just waiting to break into your home and do unspeakable things to you, even if the media never seemed to report a rash of such incidents).
Creative Team: There are no credits, but story is by Larry Hama and art by Michael Golden, for the new story. The rest consists of more recaps of the previous year and more about the launch of the cartoon regular series.
Now, before we get started, let's set the mood.......
Geez, that thing is longer than War and Peace!
I prefer the shorter version......
Such a disrespectful crowd!
We travel to Afghanistan, where the great Red Army, destroyer of fascism everywhere is busy trying to stamp out the fascist influences in the country, where the mujahideen terrorists are being supplied by the evil American CIA.....
The patriotic Oktober Guard is in pursuit, in the triumph of Soviet aviation technology, the Mi-24
letayushchiy tank. Comrade Daina is at the controls, while Comrade Schrage is in the gunner's position, using superior Soviet firepower to wipe out the cowardly tribesmen, who dared to attack a Red Army supply column, carrying out their peaceful duties. Comrade Schrage uses the opportunity to test new triumphant Soviet laser weapon and...how you say, barbecues camel.
Unknown to valiant soldiers, Capitalist running dog lackeys, GI JOE team members, observe their courageous victory. They see shrewd Oktober Guard commander Colonel Brekov fly into range, along with Comrades Stormavik and Horror Show. Comrade Col Brekov cautions Daina to be vigilant of enemies, so as not to let great Soviet achievement fall into hands of enemies of Lenin. Comrade Daina assures him that possibility is unlikely and continues to use advanced technology to put down mad dog Afghan fighters. Comrade Colonel, shrewd veteran of many battles, smells a fascist rat and orders Comrade Daina to pull up, but order comes too late and the
Krokodil (another name for vaunted Mi-24 helicopter comes face to face with fascist Cobra ambush!
Evil field commander Destro orders his stormtroopers to open fire and they succeed in bringing down the
Krokodil, while Comrade Colonel Brekov skillfully evades their fire. Cobra captures the Heroes of the Soviet Union, after they are stunned by their landing. They are subdued and handcuffed and dropped into HISS tanks. The Cobra troops work quickly on dismantling laser weapon to use in their attempt to conquer the peace loving Warsaw Pact nations.
Meanwhile, the Capitalist running dog lackeys observe their fate and do nothing to aid them, like the cowards they are.
Cobra moves out to rendezvous with their air support, but spot the terrifying sight of column of Red Army armored units coming to save the day, like cossacks riding to defend villages, when International conspiracy tried to poison their minds with Captialist propaganda, during time of Comrade Stalin....the so-called pogroms. Cobra is no match for the heroes of the Red Army, led by Comrade Col Brekov.....
The noted Soviet accuracy triumphs, as Destro's HISS sustains hit, while Comrade Daina teaches aristocratic exploiter of the masses Baroness not to turn shapely back on perfect example of Soviet womanhood....
(KGB informs me that decadent Capitalist West has websites devoted to such a display)
Comrade Col Brekov collides with Cobra Stinger and Daina leaps to freedom, while fascist pigs collide with other Stinger. Comrade Col unleashes Horror Show, to recover laser. Cowardly Cobra troops fire at own men and Comrade Horror Show teaches them way of honorable soldiers...with RPG up the Samovar! The heroic soldiers of the Oktober Guard load the laser onto vehicle and whisk it to safety, before fascists can regroup.
Destro is not done and orders air support to reroute and attempt to cut off the Oktober Guard at pass.
Captalist running dogs do nothing and race to area with hidden escape plane...old Imperialist Mosquito bomber.
Cobra thinks Comrade Col Brekov is headed to Pakistani border, with laser (Pakistan was ally to Capitalist running dogs!), but Comrade Colonel is too smart and they divert to railhead, to get laser to steamship, bound for Moskva.
Shapely example of Soviet femininity Comrade Daina....I mean valiant example of Soviet female fighters Comrade Daina, spots Cobra attack helicopters. Comrade Col Brekov alerts Comrade Dragonsky on the train and tells him to keep moving and lower the loading ramp. Comrade Col orders Comrade Stormavik to gun it up ramp, then hit breaks and swing wheel left, swerving all-terrain vehicle into slide skid, allowing room for APV to board. Comrade Scharge opens fire with anti-air weapons and destroys fascist Rattler. Second Rattler hits flatcar with cowardly weapons. APV is onboard, but car is too damaged and collapses. Comrades Horror Show and Schrage attempt to move laser forward, while Comrade Daina provides cover, with Dragunov sniper rifle. Fascist Cobra pilot dives in to attack and is too distracted to see Comrade Stormavik fire SA-7V Strela anti-air rocket and take out Rattler.
Comrade Daina demonstrates Soviet woman's physical superiority to West, while aiding the movement of laser....
Fascist terorist Firefly directs Cobra Eels in setting up cowardly sabotage of rail bridge. The blow charges and flat bed with APV and all-terrain vehicle are lost, eliminating anti-aircraft firepower. Fascist cowards follow up with all-out air assault on vaunted Soviet choo-choo.....
Fascist spot unidentified aircraft, closing fast. Comrade Col Brekov orders team to move to forward car for better position, but heroic soldiers are tossed against the side as someone throws a switch and the train moves onto a sidetrack. Aircraft proves to be Imperialist Mosquito. The cowards have rerouted the train.
Fascists board troops onto train and pride of Red Army fight them off. Fascists have tactical advantage until Comrade Dragonsky employs superior Soviet flame technology and turns Cobra FANG into s'more....
Train rolls into Karachi and onto docks, where Imperialist Mosquito is waiting, as well as freighter with hated Capitalist running dog stars & stripes rag flying over it. Cowardly running dogs claim ownership of laser and heroes refute lie. Dogs take laser, while heroes are outflanked and fascists are held at bay.
Rather than face Soviet heroes in fair fight, cowardly dogs depart on ship and fascist head for snake holes.
Thoughts: Bojmoi that was a hoot!
Michael Golden is in full "bigfoot" mode, which helps elevate Hama's story. The script lacks in jokes to match the visuals, but Golden was obviously having a blast, while Hama gives us a return of the Oktober Guard, but humiliates them in the bargain. It also serves to sell a lot of toys, as Golden gets a lot of the new flying weapons in there, plus the Hiss Tanks, Rattlers and ASP artillery pieces.
Golden gets rather gratuitous with shots of Daina, who is dressed in shorts and a tank top, to aid in the Soviet cheesecake. Well, it was the era of the Playboy Girls of the Soviet Union special issues.
Col Brekov gets an updated weapon, either and AKM or AK-74 with grenade launcher, while Schrage still carries the long outdated RPD light machine gun, which had been replaced by the RPK, back in the 60s. Stormavik also carries the WW2 era Ppsh-41 submachine gun (the "burp gun"). Horror Show has his RPG-7 rocket launcher, but there was no real Soviet equivalent of Dragonsky's "Zukhov Zippo," as Hama called it. Also, Drabonsky was supposed to have fought in Stalingrad, at age 5, which would make him 49, which is pretty old for a soldier in the field. Hama seems to think that the only war that the Red Army fought was WW2, ignoring Soviet troops putting down the Hungarian Revolution and the Czech "Velvet Revolution," plus border skirmishes with China and fighting in Afghanistan for 6 years, at that point. In 3 years, the Red Army would withdraw from Afghanistan, after less than a decade.
Lightweights! We lasted for nearly 2 decades, before turning tail and running!
Col Brekov's all-terrain vehicle was seen in their previous appearance, while the APV is new. Golden seems to have based it on the Soviet BMP-1k infantry fighting vehicle; or, possibly, the BMD-1 airborne variant. Whatever the case, he souped up their firepower.
The Hind gunship (known as the
letayushchiy tank, or "flying tank," as well as the
Krokodil, or "crocodile," because of the camouflage pattern and the cockpit design) became famous during the Soviet-Afghan War, as the main weapon used to fight the mujahideen, in the mountains. It could carry a whole squad of infantry, while it was armed with guns, rockets, anti-tank missiles and door guns, for a nasty gunship combo. They devastated villages, until the CIA armed the mujahideen with the Stinger shoulder-fired surface-to-air missiles. Those same mujahideen would become the nucleus of both the Taliban and Al-Quaida. The "enemy of my enemy" is my friend, until the war is over and I can turn my sights on them.
I would like to see a more serious story with the Oktober Guard fighting Cobra. Cobra is an inherently fascist organization and would target the Soviet Union as much as the US, as we have seen before. However, no comic book company was going to depict the Red Army as heroes, while Ronald Reagan was president. Or George Bush.
I can think of at least one president who would have been okay with presenting the Russians as friends and heroes. The irony of it boggles the mind, too.
Hasbro didn't produce an Oktober Guard toy until 1991, after the break-up of the Soviet Union, with Red Star and Big Bear. This original batch didn't get a complete set of figures until 2005 (and Daina was more moderately dressed).
ps Nikolai Volkoff, the singer above, was actually Croatian. He was born Josip Hrvoje Peruzovic, and was on the Yugoslavian weightlifting team, until 1967 and emigrated to Canada, where he was trained by Stu Hart (father of Bret and Owen Hart) to become a pro wrestler. In terms of Russian heel wrestlers, he was the closest thing to one, until Salman Hashimikov and Victor Zangiev, two authentic Soviet pro wrestlers (Hashimikov is Chechnyan and Zangiev is from Kazakhstan) were recruited to become pro wrestlers, by New Japan Pro Wrestling, in 1989. Previous Soviet heels, like WWWF World Champion Ivan Koloff (Oreal Donald Perras) and his "nephew" Nikita Koloff (Scott Simpson, from Robinsdale, MN) were phonies (Ivan was Canadian, from Ontario), as was Boris Zhukov (James Harrell, who wrestled as Private Jim Nelson, partner to Sgt Slaughter, in the Carolinas), Krusher Kruschev (Barry Darsow, also from Robinsdale and a classmate of Simpson and the late Curt Hennig), Alexis Smirnoff (Canadian Michel Lamarche) and Vladamir Petrov (Al Blake, another Minnesotan). Volkoff was the only "Russian" heel, born behind the Iron Curtain (until Hashimikov and Zangiev). He was later made a babyface, in 1990.
Most of the German pro wrestlers were phonies, too, like Fritz Von Erich (Texan Joe Adkisson) and Hans Schmidt (a French Canadian) and Baron Von Rashke (James Rashke, from Nebraska and a noted NCAA wrestler and for the US Army team, before becoming a pro). Even a lot of the Japanese wrestlers who regularly worked in the US were actually from Hawaii, like Mr Fuji.
You just can't trust pro wrestlers!