I've mentioned elsewhere before that I feel Nord's Conan best captures the Conan found in the pages of Howard, even more so than Frazetta, who is probably my favorite genre artist bar none. Smith's stuff is gorgeous, and Buscema is the standard everyone seems to measure Conan comic art by, but when I read Howard's description of Conan on the page and look at the various Conan depictions, Nord is the one that resonates with Howard's prose.

-M

That's unfair. Giorello easy matches Nord (honestly I think he's better.) The Cimmerian series had a problem (by switching the order of Iron Shadows with Black Colossus they created the need for filler, which resulted in Road of Kings) but it was a very good series overall (less filler too).

ANYWAY back to the main plot.
Issue #9: Two Nemedians Walk into a Bar.

Recap: We Return to the main plot as the Bone Woman observes Conan's face in the fire; from he lair in the Hyrkanian plateau. We get a bit of backstory about how ancient she is (her exact backstory is revealed in Kull The Hate Witch; it's a retcon but as far as it goes NOT a bad one). In the fire she sees visions of Conan doing things to survive and declares that his path will cross another.....which will be interesting since he can shake the world.

In a bar, some toughs are shaking down a merchant and stealing his gold while people look on. One of them mocks him and his friend takes the coin purse declaring "HO, TAVERNER! ALE AND WINE! AND LET TRAVELERS BEWARE WHEN THEY BRAVE TEH LOWER QUARTERS-- FOR THEY RISK THE BLADES OF THE BOLD THIEVES OF BERTINUS!" In the corners Conan grunts, and the thieves are put off by the amusement. They ask Conan if he cares for them, and Conan says that he is rather amused to see "a pair of pups put down a chicken and declare themselves mighty wolves of the forest." He goes on to say that they're wusses and what they did rather weak. They confidently ask Conan if he wants to say it to their faces so Conan gets up revealing his towering height. One of them tries to tackle Conan with a knife but is quickly picked up and thrown into his compatriot. He says that they and other city dwellers are weak and unused to fighting. They don't even know what "bold" means. The second thief asks Conan "and you do?" Conan says that he'll tell a tale and suggests they judge when it's finished.

In the flashback Conan is walking down the streets taking in the sights (even though he thinks the concept of cities are stupid he still admires the sights) when the Magistrate barrels down in his chariot and gets mud on Conan. Conan tells the fat bastard to watch where he's going, and the magistrate unused to being told off hits Conan with his rod). Conan threatens him, prompting the man to order his guards to give Conan a beating. Conan is able to beat them despite having sold his armor for food and bares down on the magistrate; the guy calls the city watchmen. Realizing that it's more than he wants to handle, Conan barrels through a few and flees over a wall promising that he'll see the magistrate again (showing off his climbing skills.)

In the present the two thieves are skeptical, but two prostitutes confirm the tale saying they were talking about it in the market place. They are rather impressed and Conan (taken in by them) accepts and offers them a spot at his table (ordering ale). Janissa quietly listens in the booth behind him as Conan continues his tale. In the past Conan describes how people who hated the magistrate led him to the place, which Conan was able to climb easily (since Cimmerians are climbers; he also insults how gaudy the fort is). In the booth that's behind the ladies Two guys, Tinna and Aztrias, are listening. Tinna wants to leave (since he's put off by both Conan's accent and his ego) but Aztrias wants to hear more. 

In the Flashback Conan describes entering an unbarred window. Though there were guards there Conan was able to lull them into a false sense of security before beating the crap out of them (as Conan points out they should have immediately tackled him rather than challenging him.) The magistrate hears the commotion and complains....only to stop when Conan enters, telling him that they have unfinished business. Conan cuts off his attempt to call for guards with a swung fist and the magistrate immediately begs for his life. Conan admits that while he planned to kill the guy seeing him groveling just takes the fun out of it; he's just too fucking pathetic. So he looks around and steals the guy's scepter and crown to sell. The magistrate protests again at which point Conan knocks him out with his own scepter. Any thoughts of killing him are put to rest when he hears footsteps. So he simply takes the loot and flees into the night.

Naturally the thieves are skeptical but Conan shuts them up by revealing the staff and crown. The thieves decide to take the loot and begin to threaten Conan while preening....only for the guards to burst in ordering everyone not to move. The guards see the treasures and assume that the two hapless thieves are the guilty party. They protest and try to implicate Conan....only to find that he's pulled a Batman and vanished. Naturally they aren't believed, and their told that they'll hang. The theives immediately try to blame Conan but all the patrons play dumb and pretend that they're lying, prompting the guards to haul them off. After they leave Conan quickly emerges from the back room, and the people marvel assuming he planned it. Conan boisterously admits that no it was just dumb luck on his part. He's been dodging the guard all night. He admits that he doesn't have money to pay for ale, but the merchant who was shaken down offers to pay. Conan accepts (admitting that maybe he was wrong about townsfolk) and invites the women.

Aztrias meanwhile ignores Tinna's advise and decides that Conan is the perfect choice for his plan. He approaches Conan, offering him a job to steal something in Numalia. Conan agrees to the offer, but tells him he may want to seek elsewhere in the future "for of all the bold thieves of bertinus, if the best cannot even keep what he stole what hope is there for the rest of them?" As everyone laughs uproariously Janissa communicates with her mistress through a wand.  Janissa describes him as a wild bull who would surely bring about his doom. However she concedes that he is cunning and skilled...he heard the watch almost as quickly as she did. The Bone Woman agrees with the assessment, saying he's raw and untutored but has a strength that makes him someone worth watching. She orders Janissa to head to Numalia. Two forces clash and the balance point is in Numalia or will be soon...and Conan is heading right for it.

Review: This issue was hilarious. After the heartbreak of issue 7 this is a step up; Conan's tale with the magistrate is a blast, and the way he manages to play the two dumbasses is a treat to read. You feel kinda sorry for them but eh they're bullies so fuck them. All things said this is the intro for God in the Bowl, explaining how Conan met Aztrias. The Bone Woman is also seen in the flesh for the first time and while she's intimidating I have to wonder what Busiek had planned. She was largely dropped after he left, barring Phantoms of the Black Coast and (retconned in, the hate witch) until Fred Van Lente brought her back. Janissa is also interesting if a tad arrogant. I'll get things out of the way and say that Fred Van Lente did a much better job with her as a sympathetic warrior. 

Still overall it's a good issue. 8 out of 10.

PS the blonde prostitute (Jiara) ends up being Conan's longest term girlfriend and bedwarmer for the series.

Tim Truman still did a good job (I prefer his version of Nestor's curse to Kurt's proposed idea.) In any case Kurt had health problems that helped influence his decision.

Anyway onto the God in the Bowl Two parter

Issue #10: God in the Bowl Part 1: The Temple of Kallian Publico

Recap: In the shadows Aztrias points at the watchman. Conan says he sees him and runs off to climb up the walls. He makes it to the top and hacks the lock apart with his sword. Down below the watchman Arus is doing his rounds, mulling over that he isn't terribly used to the place. He finds a body, horrified even as he realizes that the men who hate him would never recognized

. He kneels over the body, wondering why the rings weren't taken when he sees movement. Conan emerges from the curtain and Arus brandishes his crossbow. He puts on a show asking why Conan killed him. Conan denies it, asking who the corpse is. Arus distracts Conan by confirming that Kallian is the corpse and then rings the bell. Conan is appalled. "It will fetch the watchman!" Arus responds "I am the watchman, Knave." As he holds Conan at crossbow point Conan's decision of whether to move or not is interrupted when the door is broken down. A well dressed man and his guards storm in, and Arus is amazed by his good fortune. The man is Demitrio, Inquisitor of the City, and he explains that he happened to be doing his rounds at the time, passing by the temple. In any case he's horrified to see Kallian foully murdered, and Arus gives his story of what happened. He was suspicious since the door was only bolted rather than locked with Kallian's special key. When he passed the bolt he went in and saw Kallian lying dead on the ground.

Demetrio asks Conan who he is, and Arus of course suspects him of being the murderer. Demetrio asks Conan if he did it, and gets angry when Conan refuses. Conan protests that he isn't a dog, at which point Dionus (the big bulky second in command) starts gloating about how he'll knock Conan's insolence out of him. He begins to ask, when Demetrio cuts him off. He calmly introduces himself as Chief of the Inquisitorial council of Numalia and suggests Conan tell him why he's here and if he's not the murderer, than to prove it. Conan refuses to answer so Demetrio decides to question Arus in the meantime. Arus explains that when he began his rounds the door was DEFINATELY locked and bolted, and that if Kallian had left and returned he's have heard the Chariot on the cobblestones. He further explains that the door was only unlocked at least half an hour ago. Dionus is having none of this and advocates just beating Conan into confessing. Demetrio asks Conan if he understands and asks for Conan's answer. Conan threatens any who touch him (saying that any who touch him "will quickly be greeting his ancestors in hell.") Demetrio asks Conan why he came. Conan admits it was to steal but lies and says it was food. Demetrio sees through it and demands the answer when Conan cuts him off moving for his sword. He ain't a city bred nemedian t cringe before hired curs....besides he's killed better men than him for less (which we will actually see in Issue 32). Demetrio to his credit maintains his cool and calls of Dionus. He is able to persuade Conan to talk by pointing out that while he hasn't accused Conan yet the appearances ARE suspicious. He asks Conan how he entered and Conan confirms he climbed it. Arus disbelieves him but Demetrio (who has seen Cimmerians scale cliffs) lets Conan continue. Conan describes breaking the bolt with his sword (much to Arus's shock). Conan continues the tale, saying that he continued down the stair rather than pausing (Refusing to answer when asked how he knew). He explains that it led to a chamber beyond the curtain door and when he heard the door open he looked through it and saw Arus standing over Kallian.

Demetrio asks him why he came out, and when Conan explains he believed Arus to be a thief Demetrio presses the issue; why come out even if that were the case. Conan says that he thought that Arus came to steal what he wanted to....but cuts himself off. Demetrio however works out what he was saying and says that Conan revealed more than he intended. Based on his actions (not tarrying where the richest stuff was) he shows that he was sent to steal a SPECIFIC thing and KNEW the building plan. Dionus jumps in and declares that he was also sent to kill Kallian and is sure he has it. He tries to move forwards, prompting Conan to go for his sword, calling them wimps and saying that if they think they'll lay their hands on him they've got another thing coming. Demetrio declares that he doesn't yet think Conan did it (while whispering that Dionus should wait until they can summon more or at least trick Conan into laying his sword down.) Dionus grudgingly agrees and calls off his men. Demetrio tries to convince Conan to hand over his sword but Conan isn't an idiot and refuses to do so. Demetrio lets the matter lie and goes back to the task at hand.

Examining the corpse, he notices that Kallian was strangled; while he is suspicious to know why Conan would waste time strangling when Cimmerians prefer swords he concedes that it could have been to divert suspicion. He also notes that the body's been dead for a half hour (which means that if Conan told the truth he couldn't have done it.); but that could be a lie. Conan insists he's telling the truth and Demetrio moves on. Demetrio notices that whatever strangled him was thicker than a man's arm (wondering why a murderer would use a weapon like that). That's leaving aside how much force there was./ :looking over the scene he notices (based on a scratched floor, hangings pulled away, and a knocked away bust) that Kallian was attacked in anothther room, staggered out, and was finished in the hallway.) Dionus asks who the murderer is if it isn't Conan, and Demetrio confirms that he hasn't exonerated Conan yet but he'll investigate.....when he's cut off. There are chariot wheels outside. As Demetrio gives orders Arus says that by the sound it stopped in front of Promero's house; When Demetrio asks who Promero is Arus confirms that it's Kallian's chief clerk. Demetrio repeats the orders to bring Promero in.

A short time later Dionus and his men bring Promero, along with Enaro (Kallian's charioteer). Promero laments "oh I knew evil would come of this." Enaro meanwhile is unmoved by the corpse, and even admits that he felt like killing Kallian himself. When pushed, he pulls back his sleeves, revealing a tattoo that marks him as a debtor's slave. Demetrio interviews Kallian, learning that he didn't know his master was coming to the temple that night. HE also explains that things were usual up until he brought the chariot to the temple. When they were driving home Kallian ordered him to return to the temple; when askeds he confirms that he was bade to stop him at Promero's house and return there for him just after midnight (the orders were given right after dusk); from shortly after dusk to midnight he returned to the slave's quarters. Demetrio asks him if he had no idea why Kallian went there and Enaro retorts "He didn't speak of his business to his slaves.

Turning to Promero Demetrio turns on the questioning; Promero is very clearly hiding something and when asked why Kallian came gives an answer that's VERY clearly a blatant lie. Demetrio orders Dionus to get the answer out of Promero; Dionus orders one of his guardsmen Posthumo to do it (saying "You know what to do.") Posthumo first talks to Enaro asking if he knows who he is; Enaro does, and he mentions how Posthumo gouged a girl's due out for refusing to give information incriminating her lover (charming. Hope this bastard gets it.) Posthumo violently backhands Promero before kicking him while on the ground. Promero yields before being told to get up; Demetrio quietly tells Conan that THIS is what happens to those who cross the guard. Conan is still defiant, spitting on the ground and saying that if one of them touches HIM he'll spill the guy's heart's blood on the floor. Promero quickly fesses up (Demetrio ignores his sob story about needing the position less he starve) explaining that Kallian stayed until half an our before midnight, at which point he left before going to the temple, saying he'd return.

Demetrio asks what he was going to do and Promero decides to continue as one of the guards menacingly holds a fist in his hand. Turns out Kallian wished to examine something. This perplexes Demetrio; why would he come alone in such secrecy? Premiere explains that it wasn't Kallian's property. It arrived in a caravan from the south at dawn. The men only knew that it had been given to them by Stygian men and that it was meant for Hanumar and Kalanthes, Priest of Ibis. The Master was paid to deliver it to Kalanthes but wished to proceed directly to Aquilonia, and so asked if he could leave it there until Kalanthes could send for it. Kallian agreed and said he'd send a runner to inform Kalanthes, but after the caravan left he forbade Promero from sending anyone. When asked he explains it was a sort of sarcophagus. Unlike most ones found in stygian tombs it was round and constructed of a copper like substance (and bound with metal bands). Demetrio asks him what was in it; Promero says that they were only told that it was a priceless relic sent to Kalanthes "because of the love the sender bore the priest of Ibis" (yeah, this is going to take on DARK connotations). Killeen believed it contained an artifact called the diadem of the giant kings, who ruled the land before the stygians came there. When he showed Kallian a design that looked like a diadem he became determined to open it; Promero warned him not to but there was no persuading him.

He further reveals that if there WAS the diadem in the bowl he planed to hide it, and then the next day raise a cry claiming that thieves had broken in; the plan was fullproof since Enaro and Promero were the only ones who knew and THEY would NEVER betray him. When asked about Arus he explains that they planned to frame him as an accomplice to the thief and set him up to be crucified (we get rather funny reaction shot of Arus's shock.) Demetrio asks where the sarcophagus is, and Promero gestures to the very room where Kallian was attacked. Promero starts ranting, asking why any in Stygia would send Kalanthes a gift, since the Stygians worship Set and Ibis (Kalanthes's patron) has fought Set since the dawn of time. Demotion is unimpressed and orders Promero to show him the Sarcophagus. Promero agrees but is still suspicious (why would someone in Stygia love him if he fought Set all his life, especially enough to send him a gift) when his rant is cut off. As they enter the room the Sarcophagus is open....and empty.

Review: This was a slower issue than usual. It's also unusual in that Demetrio is the true star of the show; he's also a very likable character. Compared to his brutish cohort Dionus Demetrio is a good cop. He doesn't just jump to conclusions and is analytical. While he is clearly suspicious of Conan he's willing to hear him out and investigate before jumping to conclusions. I've seen it pointed out that Howard was experimenting with other genres when he wrote this and it's easy to see why; this is very much a mystery story and it's a pretty good one. The buildup is good and there's a sense of dread throughout. Even if you already know what to expect it's a damn fun ride. 9.5 out of 10.

That particular arc really confirmed that Nord would be an exceptional Conan artist; not just one who's talented (plenty of talented artists drew Conan) but one who would make his mark by his original and new approach. Look at the helmet on that guard's head: it's not a finely moulded fantasy thing made by the elves of the Luminous Forest. It's heavy, clunky, like something made in the bronze age; it's also showing an attempt at being decorative, since it belongs to the retinue of a rich man. In its simplicity, it seems to say "THIS IS A REAL HELMET FROM 12,000 YEARS AGO".

The same goes for Conan's physique. He looks strong and wiry, but not like a gym-haunting bodybuilder or like the Hulk. He looks like a real guy.

Ditto for the buildings. Their walls are squat and heavy, made by piling stones or bricks on top of each other. No flying buttresses yet, no fantasy architecture; it all looks as authentic as the world Howard describes.

The only negative thing I can say about this new adaptation (and it's not even really negative) is that there was no way anybody...not Nord, not Frazetta, not anyone... could have topped Barry Smith's design for the man-headed serpent or for Thoth-Amon. It was just a case of a classic design being impossible to top, like that of Darth Vader or Doctor Doom.

You've got the Conan/Wonder Woman x-over series now, but nothing else has been solicited or announced. I think a lot will depend on how well the series sells, as a lot of smaller publishers are condensing their lines and paring less profitable books to trim their line down. Licensed books have to sell better than non-licensed books to achieve the same profitability because of the cost of the license, so we'll see what DH trims.

-M