I've finally come to grips that the holidays are officially altered forever because of this year, not from COVID but by my parents' separation back in June.

We'd originally invited my mother to Thanksgiving dinner, but the facility where she lives (it's not "assisted living", but they do have staff there 24/7 for emergencies) put out a mandate that if anyone left the residence between Wednesday and Sunday for anything other than a medical emergency, particularly if they were gathering with family, they would have to quarantine for 14 days upon their return. With her locked down, we extended the invitation to my father, who accepted and while grateful we had him for dinner, was also upset since he was the "second choice".

Then, my mother told my sister that she was OK with Thanksgiving being "the only holiday I would be away from the family" (although Christmas is in jeopardy now as well), to which my sister had to inform her that we would be splitting the major ones (which for us are Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, along with birthday celebrations) between her and our dad. Mom was not accepting of that, since she 100% views our dad as the party responsible for their marital strife in the saga, which we have come to realize may not be the entire truth over the past six months. She cried and said that we were abandoning her and we weren't being "fair" to her by including him in "family events".

We're (and this includes me, my wife, and my sister) at a crossroads now, and we're not sure how it's going to go in the future. On Christmas, we're planning on inviting our dad, but just for dinner, as he never really gets into the present opening and "gathering" portion of the day; he just wants the meal and a little company for a couple of hours. Going forward, we're going to have to plan two get-togethers so that each of them feels like they are still included, which creates more work for the rest of us.

They're not officially divorced, nor will they ever be, but they might as well be. After seeing friends with parents who divorced while I was growing up having to deal with it and thanking God that, while my parents' relationship was as toxic as could be, family gatherings could be held in relative harmony at the very least, but now, at the age of 47, I'm having to navigate uncharted waters, trying to balance everything to make sure I can create some semblance of normalcy and happiness for all of the parties involved.

Feeling overwhelmed and a little depressed this holiday season. There. I said it.

Hang in there, The Captain.

Please remember that as much as you love them and want to do right by them, you do not have to find a way out of any inextricable position that your parents want to put you in, each for their own reasons. Your responsibility, as far as I see it, ends at trying to accommodate them as best you can. If after that they can't appreciate your efforts, then it's on them. Do not accept any kind of guilt for things that you have no control over!

Over here it's gonna be easier, family meeting-wise: confinement is back in effect, and nobody's going to see anyone for the holidays. My wife hasn't seen her parents since last Christmas, and it's not going to be until next summer (at least) that things change. The last time they were apart for so long was when she and I lived overseas...  but back then, they were twenty-five years younger, and far less likely to pass away before we could see them again.

Trying times indeed.

"It's their lives and they'll do what they want" to paraphrase from an old Eric Burdon and The Animals song? One thing I never want to do is get 'involved' in my parents or other family members' relationships. I refuse to take 'sides' and would try to be sympathetic enough to both, or others involved I have a relationship with. Sometimes I've seen people putting on happy families acts in the past, but now I think maybe they were faking it hoping to make it somewhat too, without it being say the Martha Stewart subdued psychosis to achieve the 'perfect' agreeable holiday, like it was a competition or something. Don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Now maybe I'd be the one muttering "don't ruin today or I will bring my heel down on your instep!" while smiling.

I work for a printing and shipping company.  We have been dealing with Christmas levels of shipping since March.  Now we are dealing that to the power of 10.  We are also dealing with Covid pockets, a lack of vehicles, qualified drivers, quarantines, lockdowns, and a general public who doesn't understand the difference between "want" and "need" and that no, you can't ship alcohol unless you are a licensed vendor of spirits, and yes, it costs a lot of money to ship stuff overseas, by plane.

Nothing personal; I've just finished my 9th day straight of working, because I have 2 people out, one of whom had a negative Covid test; but, because he got a test, they still won't let him come back for 7 days, even though it was negative, because Human Resources is populated by imbeciles with no leadership skills, inability to adapt to a situation, and would give Kafka a headache with what passes for logic, in their heads.  That and the fact that we are in a pandemic, do not ship on Sundays, but have to be open for Sunday hours, because people would only come in on Saturday or Monday, if we were still closed on Sundays, so we all could rest.  That's corporate leadership for you, though.  They all work safely, remotely, wouldn't stick their neck out to save their own mother, and as we used to say in the Navy, couldn't manage a "port and starboard" watch bill in a two-man life raft.

("Port & Starboard," means on on-duty section and an off-duty section...2 sections...in a 2-man life raft......These are the jokes, folks.........try the veal!)


Hope you get your package soon and that our competitor is responsible (or one of those Amazon buffoons, who will be replaced by a drone, after they bribe .....er, lobby enough people at the FAA and Congress).

Meanwhile.....





There, I ranted it!

Well, good.

Problem with this time of year is also a lot of temporary help, for the seasonal load; which means training gaps and quality control issues.  All it takes is for one person to put something on the wrong conveyor and your package is off touring America (or the world).  Pretty rare; but, any system designed by humans is inherently flawed.

When I worked for Barnes & Noble, we could order books from our distribution center and have them shipped directly to the customer, at on-line prices.  I live in central Illinois.  Our orders would get shipped via UPS, to the postal service facility in Florrissant, Mo (St Louis metro area), where it went into a black hole, because the postal service wasn't scanning packages properly to update tracking.  Customers would come in to complain, I'd often pull stock from the shelves or another store and provide them that and asked them to bring in their shipped item, when it arrives, in exchange.  9 times out of 10, it would arrive within 24 hours and they rushed it right in to us, because they were so happy we accommodated them, at no additional charge.  It was taking a gamble; but, I figured they knew we could probably find a way to bill them, if they kept the second copy and most people were pretty amazed that we would do that for them and wanted to pay us back, as soon as possible.  I only had to do it about 3 or 4 times, and every single one brought in the duplicate; so, it was a pretty safe bet.  

Why not both?