Titans of Justice Unlimited Chapter 94 - “Whatever It Takes Part 3”
Written & edited by: Power Guy
Epilogue by: Green Lantern


Frankfurt, Germany….

Bette Kane-Parker pressed her back against the wall of stone behind her, quivering and shaking as the giant rock monster began to reach for her. “Oh my God! Oh my God!” she began screaming until suddenly help arrived on the scene.





Power Lad slammed into the monster’s shoulder, causing it to stagger. “Lay off Flame-bat ya stupid walking statue!”





“That’s it team, follow Power Lad’s lead and distract the creature while Kai-Ro rescues Flamebird!” directed Sargona.





“We’ll keep him busy!” declared Zan.





WONDER TWIN POWERS - ACTIVATE!!!!


“Shape of……….” cried out Jayna. “Oh, what’s the name of that giant gorilla…….. Shape of a chimpanzee!”

“Form of……….ice hand-cuffs!” shouted Zan.

“What???” exclaimed Sargona in shock. “What the heck are you two doing??” She then scrambled for her Titans of Justice communicator to call in Green Lantern.

The transformed Wonder Twins ignored Sargona’s question and raced into action.

“Uhh….Jayna. Don’t you think you’re a little small to take on the rock monster?” questioned Zan.

Jayna immediately looked down at herself and realized she had transformed into the wrong kind of ape, “Oh no! Did I make a Wonder-blunder or what?”

Sargona finally got through to Green Lantern, “Dan! You’ve got to come here and quick!”

At the Hall of Justice, Green Lantern stood by, ever vigil as he responded to Sargona’s call, “Why? What’s going on?”





“These ‘gifted’ people Nightvision stuck me with are going to get us all killed!” Sargona whispered loudly into her radio, “Power Lad’s temper is out of control. Jayna just turned into the wrong kind of ape, and Kai-Ro keeps looking at me like he wants to slit my throat while I’m sleeping!”

“I think you’re being paranoid,” Green Lantern said, trying to calm his girlfriend down. “Kai-Ro is a very nice guy. Keep in mind that he’s an alien and is still adjusting to the way things are here on earth. As for the others, this is your chance to grab the bull by the horns and whip them into shape. Besides Nightvision and the Huntress, you are one of the most influential people on the team. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Realizing Daniel Jordan was right, she sighed a bit and replied, “I’ll give it my best shot, Dan. Thanks for your confidence in me. I’d better go….”

“I’ll see you when you get back,” promised the love of Sargona’s life.

Just when they thought things couldn’t get worse, the rock monster scooped up both Zan and Jayna with his immense hand.

“Oh great, now I gotta save those two dweebs too,” huffed Power Lad as he flew at the rock monster for a second round of brawling. Unfortunately, for the feisty teen, the monster saw him coming this time and used his free hand to grab Power Lad out of the air.

Sargona looked up in horror at how the event were unfolding, “We’re all going to die…….here and now,” she mumbled, completely frustrated.

Just then, Kai-Ro interrupted her, “Miss Sargon, I have Flamebird safe and sound,” advised the visitor from another planet. The young, blue alien had used his teleportation powers to secure Flamebird out of the creature’s path.





“Great……..Flamebird’s safe but now half of the team is captured,” she said, looking up at the creature, trying to figure out what to do. Just when one task seemed to be accomplished, another one had come up. She then reminded herself, “Pull it together, Sargoana………pull it together. Remember what Dan said.”

“This is all your fault you stupid rejects from Sesame Street!” Power Lad shouted, insulting the Wonder Twins.

“You’re the one who went off half-cocked without a plan, Power Lad!” countered Zan.

“Will you guys shut up already!” ordered Sargona as she touched a pile of rubble behind her and sent it flying towards the monster’s face. The barrage of small boulders slammed into the monster’s face, forcing it to release Power Lad and the Wonder Twins so it could shield it’s face.

“Nice work, Sarcasta!” smirked Power Lad.

“Shut up and push the monster towards that ledge over there! It’s our only chance!” commanded the daughter of Sargon and Zatanna.

With that, Power Lad flew behind the creature and began punching him in the back, causing him to stagger forward towards the ledge. Zan and Jayna joined in the fray. Zan turning into a sheet of ice in front of the monster while Jayna had turned into a rhino and helped Power Lad push the creature along. Within seconds, the monster was on the ice and quickly slid off the side of the ledge, falling further than human sight could see.

“Whew………..that was close,” sighed Bette Kane-Parker. “I thought I had come all of this way for nothing.”

“You have, Mrs. Parker, we’re not letting you go into that pit. There’s no telling what could happen to you if you do!” Sargona said, sternly.

“Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?” snapped Flamebird. “Yes, I’m grateful to you guys for saving my cute little tush but at the same time, you’re in no position to tell me what to do. I’m not on your team. I’m from the original Titans. The REAL Titans. You should all be following my orders right now…………and asking for my autograph…..hmph….”

Trying to remain calm and rational, Sargona replied with, “Look, Bette…”

“That’s Mrs. Parker to you,” countered Flamebird.

Sargona felt her blood boil. She finally met someone who could be as much of a five letter word as she could. Forcing her second fake smile of the day, she said, “Mrs. Parker, we’re only looking out for your best interests here. Bathing in these Lazarus Pits almost always come with a price attached. Are you willing to risk disfigurement or even death just to look a few years younger?”

Flamebird was silent for a few seconds and then began to cry profusely, “Y….ye…yes, I am. Do you have any idea to be on the verge of losing it all?!?!?! Your youth, your career, and most of all……..the one person in this world that you love the most?!?!?!?!?!?! You have no idea, DO YOU?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! You’re young and pretty and smart and probably have seven or eight guys pursuing you right now. I’ve been with my husband for over fifteen years and you know what, he rarely comes home at night any more and if he does, he makes sure it’s long past me being sound to sleep! You probably have no idea what it’s like to wake up every day alone and beg God for a second chance to make things right. I can’t lose him, do you hear me?”

Sargona’s heart sank in her chest. Bette’s desperation reminded her of when she had lost Green Lantern to Sonic Boom. While she didn’t take things to the level that Bette was, she could easily understand how Bette was feeling right now. Sargona’s voice broke as she began to speak, “….M…..Mrs. Parker, my team won’t stop you from entering the pit but please promise me that you‘ll come out immediately if you feel anything strange going on.”

As Bette wiped the tears from her eyes, she hugged the daughter of Zatanna and replied, “Thank you…….thank you.” Bette then remained silent as she turned around and walked towards the pit, She stopped right before it and looked down into the liquid beneath her. Forcing her mind to forget about any possible drawbacks entering this pool before her, she slowly immersed herself.

After about a minute, Jayna began to panic, “Oh no! She’s been in there too long! Something must have happened.”

Sargona raced for the pit, “Not to worry, I’ll force the water out of the pit. Do any of you know C.P.R.?” But before the raven-haired beauty could act, Bette Kane-Parker erupted from the water, fresh-faced and as gorgeous as she was when she was seventeen. Her hair was all bleach blonde again, her crow’s feet, under-eye lines, and all of the other wrinkles on her face had completely disappeared. Bette had a radiant blow and her smile caught both Zan and Power Lad’s eye Bette had gotten lucky and received the results she had so desperately craved.

Sargona and the other Titans were in awe over the affects of the pit, not believing their very own eyes.

“Wow! She looks as young as we do!” Zan said to his sister.

“She sure does!” agreed Jayna.

“She looks like a smoking’ hottie!” Power Lad said while having a perverse thought.

Kai-Ro had remained quiet since Bette’s emergence from the pit and thought to himself, “What an airhead,” while rolling his eyes.

“You look great, Mrs. Parker,” complimented Sargona.

“Thank you for not standing in my way,” Bette said, hugging the raven-haired beauty. “I’m finally going to get my life back.”

Just when everything seemed perfect, Flamebird heard an all too familiar voice, “My God, Bette! What have you done?”

Bette turned in shock to see her husband, dressed in his Golden Eagle armor, wearing a scowl on his face.





“Chuck! Chuck!” smiled Bette as she ran towards her husband, arms open. As Bette got closer, she realized something was clearly wrong. Golden Eagle just stood there, arms crossed over his chest.

“Chuck?” Bette asked cautiously, a crack in her voice. “What’s wrong? How did you know to find me here?”

“One of the Titans of Justice got in touch with Donna who called me right away. I flew all the way here from California to stop you but I see that I’m too late.”

“Too later?” Bette repeated, totally confused.

“You know, Bette, throughout all of the years we’ve known each other, you’ve done a lot of crazy things but THIS tops them all. I could handle all of the bottles of Oil of Olay on the bathroom counter and your weekly trips to the spa. I even buckled and kept my mouth shut when you got the Botox done but this……this is crossing the line. I always knew you had an obsession with looking youthful but this takes it to a whole new level!”

“Chuck! Look at me! I’m as beautiful as when we first met!” insisted the niece of Kathy Kane.

“And I’m in my mid-forties. You’ve got the body of a teenager,” pointed out Golden Eagle.

“Yes, I do! Maybe now you can start sleeping at home every night,” Bette said, firmly.

“Bette, is that what this is about? You know the only reason I’m not home every night is because I’m busy with work, trying to make sure you have an easy life. Do you think I like traveling for work all the time? I HATE it but we wouldn’t that house in Beverly Hills without it..”

The Titans present, remained quiet, giving the long-time couple the opportunity to work the current situation out.

“But Chuck, I did this for you! To help keep you interested!” pleaded Bette.

“Bette, I was always interested………..until now. It’s obvious that I don’t know you any more,” Golden Eagle said, coldly.

“No! That’s not true! I’m still the same girl you fell in love with all those years ago!” cried out Bette as she reached out for her husband who used his hands to grab her arms and keep her at bay.

“Wh…what are you doing?” Bette asked, panicked.

“Bette, look at yourself. You look young enough to be my daughter,” chastised Golden Eagle. “This isn’t right………… I’m sorry but I can’t be with you any more,” he said, holding back a tear and taking to the air and flying off.”

“NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bette’s screams filled the cavern for the next twenty minutes.

***

São Paulo, Brazil…

The Titans of Justice and the Outsiders were in the midst of battle. Punches, kicks, energy blasts, and all sorts of weaponry was being exchanged. As things heated up, Blackbird turned to Tsukuri, “Escort Waller to the pit. We’ll hold the line!”





Tsukuri gave her leader a simple nod and clutched Waller’s arm, headed for the Lazarus Pit ahead.





Several yards away…. “Stellar, is it?” Blackout asked as she and the star-spangled teen sized each other up.





“Yup….but I don’t have time for meet and greet, sorry,” he said firmly as he flew past the daughter of Nightshade.





“Not so fast, kid!” called out the daughter of Nightshade as she opened a portal in Stellar’s path, causing him to fly inward. A split second later, the son of Captain Marvel found himself back in front of Blackout again.

“How did you…” began Stellar.

“My darkness power can open dimensional warps….among other things,” Blackout said, putting her hands on her hips. “Now, be a good little boy and sit this one out so Mrs. Waller can take her bubble bath.”

Stellar became quite upset with how Blackout was talking down to him, “I told you, I don’t have time for this!” he said, releasing a barrage of his shooting-stars at Blackout, temporarily blinding her.

Blackout immediately covered her eyes, “Why you little…..” she spat as Stellar flew off.

A ways away, Power Guy was locked in battled with the second Geo-Force. “I trust I don’t have to tell you how strong I am. I usually don’t like to boast but I’d rather settle this without any further hassle.”

“Then throw up your white flag. My team will not surrender to you,” Geo-Force said, determined.





“I didn’t want it to come to his but I can’t let Mrs. Waller enter that pit,” Power Guy said, punching Geo-Force in the face, Surprisingly, Markovia’s premier hero barely flinched.

“What??? How could you not feel that?” Power Guy asked, completely shocked.

“Look below you,” directed Geo-Force. “We are standing on the ground and I draw my power from the very earth itself.”

“Then let’s break your bond,” Power Guy said, lunging at his opponent. He quickly grabbed Geo-Force by his under-arms and began to pull upward but shockingly, he wasn’t able to budge the Markovian hero one bit.

“Your struggle is pointless,” advised Geo-Force. “There is no separating the earth and I. We are one!” he said as he punched Power Guy in the face, hurling him backwards.

The blow from Geo-Force stung considerably but it would take much more than that to make Power Guy stand down. Whipping back around, he flew into the green and yellow clad hero with the force of a freight train. The impact was so intense that it caused a minor dust storm. A few seconds later, once everything became clear, Geo-Force was again, unmoved.

“My turn,” Geo-Force said, nonchalantly.

Suddenly the rock and dirt below Power Guy’s body rose up and wrapped itself around the Kryptonian powerhouse, pulling him into the ground. He struggled to get free but it seemed hopeless as more and more rock and dirt joined in the fray, sucking the leader of the Titans of Justice into the ground.

As Geo-Force began to celebrate his victory, he soon found himself with an unexpected surprise of his own: Stellar and Infierna Verde.

“You can’t do that to Pee Gee!” scolded Stellar, hands blazing with solar energy.

“The little muchacho is right, senior,” joined in Infierna Verde. “Power Guy is our leader and we will not sit by idly while beat on him like rag doll.”





Then without warning, Miss Creeper came flying through the air and kicked Infierna Verde in the side of the face, knocking her out of the air. “You’ve got your own problems to worry about, sister…………although I do love your hair,” giggled the daughter of Jack Ryder.





Infierna Verde landed face down on the ground and Miss Creeper was quick to jump on her back and started slamming her opponent’s face into the ground. “I love your hair so much, I think after I kick the suds out of you, I’ll cut some of it off and make some extensions out of it!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she cackled away.

Several feet away, Stellar was still intent on taking down Geo-Force II. Raising his hands above his head, he began to summon forth a powerful blast of solar energy from his Cosmic Converter Belt until out of the blue, a boxing-glove arrow slammed into the side of his head, rendering him unconscious.

Dark Arrow looked on from a distance and thought to himself, “Sorry kid. I still think of you as a little brother from all of the time you stayed with my family and that boxing-gloved to the head was a lot easier on you than what Geo-Force would have done.”





Meanwhile, Miss Creeper was still having a field-day with Infierna Verde, “Still awake, greenie???” as she lifted up the Global Guardian’s head by her hair and noticed her eyes were still open.

“Si………and angry!” announced the daughter of Beatriz De Costa in her thick Brazilian accent as her eyes glowed green and her body became ablaze.

“OUCHOUCHOUCHOUCH!!!!” screamed Miss Creeper as she jumped up and began rubbing her backside. Instantly, she was surrounded by a circle of green fire. The heat from the flames was so hot that she began to become dizzy and her vision started to blur. Within a minute, her body overheated and she collapsed, completely inert.

Just then, Geo-Force came flying up behind Infierna Verde and made his presence known, “Fire needs air to keep going. Hopefully you do not suffocate from what I am about to do!” he said as he caused the earth to raise up and engulf the green-clad heroine, smothering her flames.

Meanwhile, Nightvision looked on in anger as his teammates fell one by one. As much as he wanted to help them, Blackbird was giving him quite a workout. She was one of the few people on the planet who could give him a proper challenge in hand to hand combat. “Stop this! We shouldn’t go out like this!”





“You should of thought of that before you started chasing after Copy Cat!” hissed Blackbird.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” countered Nightvision firmly, as he blocked one of Blackbird’s blows.

“Then hurt me!” challenged Dark Arrow as he sucker-punched Nightvsion in the side of the face.

“Arrow! You coward……..sneaking up on me like that,” spat Nightvision.

“Hypocritical as always,” barked Dark Arrow. “Your main protocol is sneaking up on others. Not a fan of the shoe being on the other foot?”

Nightvision cocked back his arm, ready to punch the son of Oliver and Dinah Queen when Blackbird grabbed both of his arms and held them behind his back, allowing Dark Arrow to begin punching away in full fury.

“This is for my sister!” growled Dark Arrow as his fist slammed into Nightvision jaw. “This is for that day at the cemetery!” he said, striking Nightvision again. “And THIS is for being an all-around, total jerk 24/7!!!” he said slamming his fist right between Nightvision’s eyes, delivering a T.K.O.

As Nightvision slumped to the ground, Dark Arrow took a deep breath and rubbed his sore knuckles, “Damn, that felt good,” he said looking down at the son of Dick Grayson.

“Nice job,” complimented Blackbird. “Here’s your reward,” she said, pressing her lips against the archer’s.

***

A few days later in Washington, D.C….

President Obama sat at his desk sifting through the pile of papers on his desk. “Where did I put that letter from Palin? I really wish she’d stop harassing me. Why can’t she just let it go?”

Suddenly, there was knock at the door which caused the president to jerk his head upward, “Come in!”

As the door opened, he could not believe what he saw in front of him, “Dear Lord……..Mrs. Waller………..you….you………..look wonderful.”





“Thank you, sir,” smiled the determined government official. “I’m just curious……have you found anyone to take over for me yet?”

“No, not yet,” replied the nation’s first African American president.

“Good,” Waller said, drawing some papers from her brief-case and handing them to the president. “Here, read this. It’s a full report from my doctor. I’m in completely good health and quite able of carrying on my duties for at least another twenty years so you can stop your search.”

“But how did you???” Obama began to ask.

“I take my job quite seriously, Mr. President. You’d be surprised what diet, exercise, and a face-lift can do for you these days,” replied Waller.

“But I just saw you a month and a half ago. How could you pull this off so fast?” countered the president of the United States.

“I told you I take my work very seriously. Let’s not get into the boring details. So can I keep my job?” asked the leader of the Suicide Squad.

“As long as it won’t adversely affect your health, of course!” answered Obama. “In fact, your determination in trying to keep this position has convinced me you deserve more jurisdiction and responsibility.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” smirked Waller. “Now let’s discuss my first order of business………namely, the Titans of Justice.”

***

The Hall of Justice…

Sargona knocked on the door in front of her, waiting patiently for an answer. A few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Bette Kane, bags packed.

“Hi,” Bette said, glumly. She had obviously been crying as her eyes were bloodshot and mascara was running down her cheeks.

“I’d ask how you’re doing but I don’t need to be your old teammate Lilith to read your mind right now,” Sargona said, compassionately. “So where am I taking you?”

“Gotham. I’m going to be staying with my Aunt Kathy for a while.” replied the member of the original Titans West.

“So that’s why you’re wearing your old Bat-Girl outfit, huh? Starting over in Gotham City?” presumed the daughter of Zatanna.





“Yes,” Bette answered, quietly while looking down at herself. “I’ve lost my husband. My career is in shambles. There really isn’t anything left to drive me on. I need a new purpose. A fresh start so to speak.”

“Well then, you’re doing it all wrong,” came a booming male voice.

Sargona and Bat-Girl turned to see Nightvision coming down the hallway.

“Excuse me?” Bette said, quite annoyed.

“There’s no way you’ll survive in Gotham these days dressed like that,” began Nightvision. “You look more like one of Santa’s elves than a vigilante from Gotham. People like False Face, the new Riddler, or Dr. Phosphorus would eat you alive.”

“Why you arrogant little brat. Do you know that I was putting on a cape and tights long before you were even born?!?!?! I was the first Bat-Girl….long before that book-worm of a mother of yours decided to steal my name……and what should have been my future husband. Plus I was a member of the ORIGINAL Titans. I even founded the West Coast branch!” spat Bat-Girl.

“True but your career was on and off at best and could you remind me how long the last incarnation of Titans West lasted? Three weeks?” countered Nightvision. “You want to start over in my city - FINE. But you’re under my watch for the foreseeable future. For starters, we’re getting you out of that ridiculous outfit and secondly, I’m taking you on as my partner.

“I guess that’s fine……..” Bette said, rolling her eyes a bit. Nightvision was as cute as his father and she was kind of hoping he would help her keep her mind off Chuck until he came to his senses and begged her to come back to him.

Nightvision then continued with, “And you’re joining our Super Friends program in order to get some discipline and training.”

“What?!?!??!” demanded Bette Kane-Parker. “Are you outta your cotton-picking mind?”

***

Epilogue: Green Lantern’s Room

Pastor Daniel Jordan sat alone in contemplation. He never could have predicted the events that caused the love of his life to forsake him. Was he making a mistake by getting involved with Sargona again? Should he pray and wait for Di Di? Should he just forget women altogether and move on with his life? As was his usual custom when heart-broken, he turned to God’s Word for both inspiration and direction. He came across Psalm 61 and remembered a song he had learned long ago based upon the first two verses. He decided to comfort himself by singing aloud in a rich baritone voice.

From the adjacent room Scott Stone heard the singing and thought to himself, “Hey, that’s not half bad!” He left his private quarters to see where the music was coming from and discovered Kai-Ro with his ear pressed against Green Lantern’s door. The alien’s eyes were closed and a look of bliss radiated from his face.





“Hey, dude,” asked Starman, “Is everyone from Venus perverted?”

Kai-Ro glared at his team-mate in indignance. “I’m sorry, I am not familiar with this word: pre-verted.”

“Nevermind,” said Scott sarcastically as he went back into his room and closed the door.

Kai-Ro shook his fist in a threatening manner toward Starman’s room and thought, “Your time is coming soon, jerk.” The blue-skinned Super-Friend took a deep breath and chuckled to himself, “I think I’ll go disguise myself as Nightvision again and scare that nerd, Stellar!”


The End