Marvel Two-in-One #56Thing and Thundra!
WARNING: This will get very pro wrestling-centric. Whhhhoooooooaaaaa, Nellie!
Creative Team: Mark "Grappler" Gruenwald and Ralph "Crane Kick" Macchio-writers, George "El Guapo" Perez-pencils, Gene "Bad" Day-inks, Irv "the Dragon" Watanabe-letters, Bob Sharen "Sharealike"-colors, Roger Stern "Warning"-editor, Jim "Back" Shooter-EIC.
Okay, that last one may be unfair, but he is a heel.
Synopsis: Outside Project PEGASUS, a group of lady grapplers is trying to find a way into the arena. Thundra obliges by ripping the cover off of a maintenance shaft. She is aiding the others, yet she still wants a rematch with Titania, after she pulled a double-cross, in the ring. Someone call up the promoter and demand the match!
They rappel down the shaft as Thundra reflects back on when she woke up from Titania's drug and was told the whole story...
Her chance meeting with Herkimer J Ogelthorpe was arranged by the people at the heart of the Nth Command, who arranged to have her brought to Kowlski's gym, to be secretly recruited to aid the 4 lady grapplers (Titania, Poundcakes, Screaming Mimi, and Letha), who are actually special agents of the group. Their job is to deliver a box into project PEGASUS and they needed her strength. They offer her a big contract to join the mission (payment unspecified) and she does, despite not believing things are on the up and up. So, she joins the team and is quickly pimped out by the Fabulous Moolah.
They break into the Nuclear Research Module, to the Pit, where they set up the device, then the Grapplers abandon Thundra....it's another double-cross, orchestrated by Jimmy Hart! Thundra has about the same sense as Jerry Lawler!
Meanwhile, Ben is in Wundarr's room, apologizing to the sleeping man-child, for letting the Project perform experiments on him....
He leaves without seeing Wundarr rise and whisper that he understands.
Ben runs into Thundra and then remembers he is on security detail and makes like Doug Dillinger and asks what she is doing there. She begs off and Ben takes her into custody and she backhands him. Ben now declares "Grimm 3:16 says, 'It's Clobberin' Time!'"
Ben fights Thundra, with one arm metaphorically tied behind his back, as he still has a "wing-in-a-sling."
Elsewhere, Quasar and Giant-Man are cleaning up from the last Texas Deathmatch, with Nuklo, when alarms go off. The split up and Quasar runs into half of the Grapplers and gets a dropkick from Letha. She then hip-tosses him into the wall. He then fires back with his energy bands and Screaming Mimi goes to work and her screams cause Quasar to hallucinate. He fires back with all he's got, in desperation. Light cages don't work, but a massive energy blasts levels the tag-team and Quasar gets to duke and the win.
Giant-Man runs into Titania, who name drops Bobo Brazil and Poundcakes cuts a promo and Bill Foster literally facepalms Titania...
Poundcakes hits him with an "international object" and knocks him out of the ring, while the ref's back is turned. He is headed into a fire pit, but stops his fall by expanding size, then walking up the wall. He is exhausted by the time he climbs back over the top rope, to finish the match. Titania pulls another "international object" out of her boot and zaps GM with some kind of energy baton, then Poundcakes Garvin Stomps on him with seismic boots, drawing heat. GM finally makes his "Superman comeback" and slams the two women together, knocking them out.
Ben and Thundra are at it and she monkey flips him into a wall. He counters with a right uppercut (Hey, closed fist, ref!). Thundra counters with a bearhug, into a Northern Lights Suplex and then slaps a camel clutch on Ben.....
Thundra goes on and on about Ben spurning her for Alicia (See, personal issues=money! Booking 101, humanoids!). Ben grabs some rubble and breaks loose, then lectures Thundra in the ways of love. He then references Bruna Sammartino as he slaps on a half-nelson. Thundra counters with an elbow to the solar plexus. Ben grabs an arm, but Thundra counters with a head scissor, until Quasar and the rest of security turn up with the rest of the Grapplers. Thundra taps out and is taken into custody.
Meanwhile, Thomas Lightner has the box the women delivered and starts assembling a device.
Thoughts: Well, no one ended up with a "crimson mask"; but, it was a Pier Sixer! Katie bar the door! Ben took a licking; but, he's so tough he'd fight a buzzsaw and give it the first two rounds! Ladies and gentlmen, that was human chess, at its finest!
Okay, enough Solie-isms. (I'll explain, below)
Another great issue, with wall-to-wall action, as our subplot does a run-in on the main event. We've been wondering why we are focusing attention on Thundra's foray into women's wrestling and it turns out it was all manipulated to get her to join the Grapplers and lead the assault on PEGASUS. Could have just asked! The mugging of Ogelthorpe was a set-up, the try-out at Kowalski's Gym was arranged and we now understand why Titania double-crossed Thundra. However, why would Thundra go along with the set-up? What is this shadow group offering her? It can't just be money, as she fancies herself a noble warrior, not a mercenary.
The Grapplers all have colorful names and abilities & weapons to match. here, we see how much they are an homage to the Female Furies, as they pull one out of their playbook. Titania has her own Mega-Rod, Letha has her own belt-whips, Screaming Mimi drives people mad with sonic screams, and Poundcakes creates seismic shocks by stomping her boots. All of their costumes, more or less, invoke their DC counterparts, with only Titania really looking like a lady wrestler, of the era
The character types actually work rather well, as wrestling personas. Titania invokes top fighters, like a Manami Toyota or Madusa Miceli, while Poundcakes is in the style of the monster heels, like Aja Kong, Combat Toyoda, or Bull Nakano. Screaming Mimi invokes the psycho-heels, like Daffney or Luna Vachon. Letha is the cold-blooded enforcer type, like Peggy Lee Leather or Lelani Kai.
George Perez starts on the interiors (for real, this time) and he is in his element, since he gets to draw the heck out of the facilities, tons of rubble and bodies flying everywhere. He also gets to indulge in his own pet entertainments, with women fighting, in costumes (George has directed female superhero fight fetish videos). he is obviously a fan, as he drew actual wrestling moves, particularly on the page with Thundra and Ben's fight. He also had Letha execute a textbook drop kick (in a male style, not the usual lady wrestler style, where they fall back on their butt, instead of landing on their chest, like the men).
Everyone involved must be a pro wrestling fan, as it oozes fandom, from name references to WWWF World Champion Bruno Sammartino to WWA World Champion Bobo Brazil, both of whom had headlined Madison Square Garden and arenas across the country. Earlier references to Killer Kowalski, the match double-cross, a dwarf manager....it's pure wrestling, at its finest!
There is a point to the mayhem, as the Grapplers deliver another package, which is to be used to sabotage PEGASUS. The Deathlok infiltration failed (even with the Nuklo chaos to try to salvage the mission, after the fact) and now Lightner has a complete device to achieve whatever it is he is trying to achieve. Again, individual plot for the chapter, but another chapter in the bigger story. It works as a single issue, but entices you to come back for answers to the bigger mystery. This is why this is a classic: it's well structured, well written, with compelling characters, tons of action, and a mystery that pulls you in, with out telegraphing too much.
Meanwhile, Wundarr seems relatively lucid, so whatever voices were speaking to him before, are now changing him for the better. That will be at the forefront, of next issue.
For the unfortunate who never saw or followed classic pro wrestling:
(Skip to the end, if you aren't interested)
Bruno Sammartino-WWWF Champion from 1963-1971, headlining multiple MSG cards and one of the biggest draws in 1960s pro wrestling. Held the title again from 1972-1977, before setting up Superstar Billy Graham as the next big attraction. Split with Vince McMahon Jr, after the direction of the company was not to his liking (he'd had fights with Sr, too) and promises made about pushing his son, David, went unfulfilled. Later mended fences and was inducted into the WWE Hall of fame, after an embarrassing absence as the biggest draw of the 60s and 70s.
Bobo Brazil-real name Houston Harris, one of the early African-American wrestling stars, with a career that spanned 40 years. Held the Los Angeles version of the world title (WWA World Title) when it was a major title, making him one of the first black "world champions" (along with Bearcat Wright, who held the Boston version, earlier). Headlined MSG and was noted for battles with Johnny Valentine, Killer Kowalski, Dick the Bruiser and, especially the original Sheik. He and Sheik (Ed Farhat) sold out Cobo Hall, in Detroit, multiple times, in their battles over the US title (Farhat was the Detroit promoter, under his real name, while wrestling as the Sheik). Brazil was one of the first superstar African-American athletes, despite the worked nature of pro wrestling.
Fabulous Moolah-Lillian Ellison, began as a valet and became a wrestler, then was awarded the women's world title, in a battle royal and controlled the title until the 1980s. She was married to the women's promoter, who booked his wrestlers as special attractions in various promotions, across the country. Moolah continued doing the same on her own, as well as running a training camp on her land, in South Carolina. The women she trained worked in her troupe and were booked around the globe, with Moolah getting a big percentage of their earnings. it has also been alleged (quite convincingly) that she and Wolfe pimped out the women as prostitutes; or, at least "escorts."
Jimmy Hart-former member of the 60s pop group The Gentrys ("Keep On Dancing"), who was a Memphis radio DJ and wrestling fan, who ended up working for the Memphics wrestling promotion, as a manager. He managed the top heels and was noted for his obnoxious personality and fast talking style, calling everyone "baby", like some slick Hollywood Hustler. his stable, in Memphis was known as the First Family and he managed Jerry "The King" Lawler, when he was a heel, and then Lawler's opponents, after Lawler became a babyface. Moved on to the WWF, where he managed the Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart) and worked behind-the-scenes. Also worked for WCW, in the 90s, up to their death, in 2001. Dubbed The Mouth of the South, which was a rib on ted Turner, who had been given that nickname, years before. In memphis, wrestlers often double-crossed and turned heel on Lawler, to set them up as his next opponent,. Such things were usually set up by Hart.
Jerry "The King" Lawler-top draw in Memphis, from the 70s, into the early 2000s. Also owned part of the promotion, along with Jerry Jarrett (father of Double J Jeff Jarrett). Had the notorious matches with comedian Andy Kaufman, in the Mid-South Colosseum. Lawler was a long time heel, before becoming a babyface, after a legit injury, which led to a promo by Jimmy Hart, where he talked about shooting horses, with broken legs. It was an angle, but Lawler actually took the comment personally. The usual pattern was that Lawler would team up with a wrestler against Hart's First Family and the partner would turn on Lawler and lay him out. they would have a series of matches, which Lawler would win, then move on to the next feud. Some guys switched back and forth, as Lawler would team up with former enemies against a bigger enemy. This would ultimately lead to another double-cross, such as Superstar Bill Dundee, who constantly switched back and forth as Lawler's friend and enemy. Lawler never seemed to see it coming, no matter how wary he was. They even did the angle with Andy Kaufman, as Hart's men beat him up, after a loss and he turns to Lawler for help. Lawler eventually agrees and is double-crossed by Kaufman and Hart and left laying.
Doug Dillinger-former Charlotte, NC police officer who became head of security for matches for Jim Crockett Promotions, in the Carolinas and then for WCW, after the sale. Notoriously ineffective at keeping heels from ambushing babyface, as his real job was keeping the fans from getting over-excited and trying to get at the wrestlers (this got out of hand, when the NWO angle, in WCW, was at its height of popularity).
Ronnie Garvin-Canadian wrestler (Roger Barnes), who was known for a tough, rugged, brawling style, mixed with textbook mat wrestling. he is noted for stomping his opponents and started doing a move that became known as the Garvin Stomp, in WCW, though he had used it in the 70s, in Knoxville. he would stomp his prone opponent, then work his way around the body, stomping a different body part, until he completed a full circle. Highly respected in the ring and Andre the Giant actually allowed Garvin to pin him for a match in Knoxville, in the days before match results were known across the country (Andre also had losses to El Canek, in Mexico and in Japan, to Strong Kobayashi and Antonio Inoki; as well as losses, in his early days of wrestling, as Jean Ferre and "Giant" Ferre.)
Heel-villain
Babyface-hero
International Object-More commonly known as a "foreign object," a weapon snuck into the match for an unfair advantage. When Turner Broadcasting bought ought Jim Crockett and created WCW (the promotion, as the Saturday TBS show had been known as World Championship Wrestling, since the early-mid 80s), some idiot banned the use of the phrase "foreign object" as being xenophobic, so the announcers would call it an "international object," as a little protest to the stupidity.
Dropkick-wrestler leaps into the air and delivers a kick to either the chest or the head, usually (but not always) with both feet. They push off their opponent as they hit them and twist into a landing in a front bump. Tony Atlas used to hit his opponents with only one foot. Lady wrestlers usually delivered it by thrusting both feet forward, into their opponent then dropping straight back into a back bump, absorbing it on their butt. A few later females did it the male way, like Velvet McIntyre and several Japanese women wrestlers.
Half-Nelson-legit wrestling hold, where one wrestler has a single arm wrapped under an opponents shoulder and then has the hand of that arm clamped onto the back of the opponents head, locking the shoulder and controlling movement of the head. it is used in amateur wrestling to try to maneuver an opponent onto their back for a pinfall.
Hip-toss-basic judo/wrestling throw where an opponent is thrown off their feet by planting the hip towards the opponent and using the added leverage to pull them over the body and onto the ground/mat.
Monkey Flip-facing the opponent, a wrestler jumps up, grabs the back of the opponent's head, plants his feet in their abdomen and falls backward, pulling the opponent over them and then pushes out their feet to completely launch the opponent over their head. Kirk uses this in some Star Trek episodes.
Head scissors-wrestler locks their feet together behind an opponents head and squeezes with the legs. Actual wrestling move for control and can be turned into a submission hold. A Flying Head Scissor has a wrestler leap into the air and catch their opponents head in the scissor lock and flip them down to the mat.
Camel Clutch-submission hold, mixing a rear chinlock with a backbreaker. Wrestler straddles an opponent and locks their hands across the opponent's chin, to control the head. They then pull the head back, into a neck crank. Pulling further back also puts stress on the back muscles. Favorite move of The Iron Sheik (Hossein Khosrow Vaziri, who was a legit amateur wrestler, on the Iranian National Team, under the Shah), though he pulls his opponent's arms across his thighs as he sits on their back and clamps on the chinlock, pulling the head and back until they submit. Defeated Bob Backlund for the WWF title, in MSG, with the move, then lost the title to hulk Hogan, to launch the Hulkamania era of the WWF and its national expansion (after promoting the Northeast).
Get the duke-The win. The referee signals the winner by lifting their hand, or duke, into the air. Carryover from boxing, where the act signals to the audience further away from the ring who the winner is.
Bearhug-wrestler catches opponent in a hug and lifts them off their feet, squeezing them around their midsection. Bruno Sammartino's main finisher. So-called because of bears in the wild squeezing prey in powerful arms.
Northern Lights Suplex-A suplex (pronounced "suplay" in reality, but usually pronounced S-plex, in wrestling) is a legit throw of a wrestler, over the head. In amateur wrestling, the wrester must maintain control of the opponent as they lift them up and bring them back down to the mat. In pro wrestling, the toss them over to land on their own. In reality, the opponent cooperates in going up for the lift and the applying wrestler helps keep control of the opponents body, so they can safely take a back bump. There are many variations of the suplex, including a German Suplex, which is a Greco-Roman suplex, where a wrestler clamps on a full nelson (armsunder the shoulders, hands locked behind the opponent's head), and then lifts them up and goes into a back bridge, throwing the opponent backward, over the head, to the mat. In a Northern Lights Suplex, the wrestler catches the opponent in a front bearhug and then executes the overhead suplex, as the bridge backwards and the opponent flies forward, over their head. Used extensively in Japan.
Manami Toyota-Top wrestling star in the 90s, for All-Japan Women wrestling promotion (then, the top women's promotion, in the world). Noted for her technical skill and athleticism, as well as her physical beauty.
Madusa Miceli-Debrah Ann Miceli, American wrestler, became known in the AWA, battling Sheri Martel for the women's title. Wrestled extensively in Japan before returning to the US, with a hybrid American/Japanese style, to revive the WWF women's division, in the US, bringing over some of her Japanese rivals, like Rhonda "Monster Ripper" Singh (as Bertha Faye) and Bull Nakano. She wrestled as Alundra Blayze (so Vince could trademark the name) in the WWF, until Vince unceremoniously dropped her and the women's division. She showed up on WCW Monday Nitro, with the WWF Women's title belt and threw it into the trash can. She worked for WCW, prior to the Alundra Blaze run, as a manager and worked for this era WCW as a manager/wrestler/valet, before moving on to compete in the monster truck circuit, becoming the first woman to win championships in the field. Later inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, where they did a gag of someone pulling the title belt out of the trash can and handing it back to her.
Aja Kong-Erika Shishido, Japanese female monster heel and, later, babyface. Of mixed Japanese and African-American heritage (father was an American soldier, stationed in Japan), had a troubled childhood, because of her mixed race. Idolized women's pro wrestling and the superstar Crush Girls (Chigusa Nagayo and Lioness Asuka, who were top wrestling draws and pop stars, in 198s Japan). One of the top stars of All-Japan Women, in the 90s and helped start the ARSION women's promotion.
Bull Nakano-Keiko Aoki Nakano, Monster heel star of All-Japan Women, alongside partner Dump Matsumoto.
Combat Toyoda-Noriyo Toyoda, trained in the All-Japan Women's Dojo and was Rookie of the Year, but passed over for elevation in favor of other wrestlers. left the promotion and worked independents, especially Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling (FMW), for Atsushi Onita, where she had a long rivalry with Megumi Kudo, which included deathmatches, with barbed wire and such. bad enough when it was just the guys butchering themselves in such matches.
Daffney-Shannon Spruill, a former child actor and production assistant, who got into wrestling as an obsessive fan character and moved on to wrestling matches. Character portrayed a mentally deranged personality. Real person had severe mental health issues, made worse by concussions and a bad neck injury, for which she had to sue to get the promotion to cover her medical costs. Took her own life, recently, after livestreaming threats on Instagram.
Luna Vachon-Gerturde "Trudy" Vachon, adopted daughter of "Butcher" Paul Vachon and niece of "Mad Dog" Maurice and Vivienne Vachon, all Canadian wrestling legends (Mad Dog was a former Olympian and held the AWA World title). Idolized her aunt, Vivienne, who was also a pop star and helped train her. Worked in Florida, as part of Kevin Sullivan's devil-worshipping coven, then independents and the WWF. Noted for her mohawk and face painting, gravelly voice, and wild style, despite her petite frame. had mental health and substance issues and died of an overdose mixture of oxycodone (painkiller) and benzodiazepines (psychiatric medication). Upcoming feature of Vice TV's Dark Side of the Ring.
Peggy Lee Leather-Peggy Lee (but not the singer), tough heel wrestler who worked smaller promotions, as well as the Big Two in the 90s and 2000s, usually facing Selenea majors, aka Bambi
Lelani Kai-Patty Seymour; trained by Moolah and part of her wrestling troupe, for a long time. Defeated Wendy Richter for the WWF Womens Title, at the MTV co-promoted War To Settle The Score, then Richter regained the title, at the first Wrestlemania. Later paired with fellow Moolah troupe member Judy Martin, as the Glamour Girls, where they held the WWF Womens Tag-Team titles, before dropping them to the young Japanese team, The Jumping Bomb Angels. The regained the titles, but the WWF dropped the women's division, in 1989. The pair worked the fledgling, but short-lived Ladies Professional Wrestling Association, then Kai returned in the mid-90s, to the WWF, to face Madusa Miceli (as Alundra Blaze) for the revived Womens Title. Portrayed as Hawaiian, but actually from Florida, with no Polynesian ancestry.
Whoa, Nellie!-phrase often sported by wrestling announcers, especially by KTLA Los Angeles announcer, Dick Lane. Used as the title for Jaime Hernandez's Love & Rockets spin-off mini-series, with Xochitl and Gina Bravo, as a lady wrestler tag-team.
Crimson Mask-favorite expression of announcer Gordon Solie, who covered wrestling primarily in Flordia, but also in Georgia (on the WTBS-broadcast World Championship Wrestling), and Pensacola/Alabama. Refers to the face being covered in blood, after a wrestler bladed themselves in a match, to make it look like their opponent opened up cuts on their forehead. Wrestlers would clip off a peice of a razor blade, wrap it in tape and hide it on their person during a match. Then, they would retrieve it and cut themselves at the desired time, to create a bloodflow, for the climax of the match. Some territories and promotions were notorious for bloody matches, such as the Detroit promotion, with the Sheik and his opponents, Texas, and Indianapolis, where Bobby Heenan routinely bled for Dick the Bruiser beatings (often getting himself on magazine covers, looking like a stuck pig).
Pier Sixer-wild brawl, like sailors or longshoremen on a pier. Another Solie favorite.
"
He'd fight a buzzsaw and give it the first two rounds"-Solieism, illustrating how tough a wrestler was.
"Human Chess at its Finest"-Favorite Solie expression for the psychology of pro wrestling matches, where opponents try to outwit and outmaneuver each other, in a physical chess match, with themselves as the pieces.
Katie, bar the door!-excited Solism, as the action gets wild and out of hand.
Gordon Solie-legendary wrestling announcer, called the "Walter Cronkite of Pro Wrestling." Started out announcing auto racing, then started announcing tv matches for Championship Wrestling from Florida. Used a deliberate pro sport announcing style and called moves by their technical names, in standard play-by-play delivery, occasionally adding excited emphasis when the action got wild or at a major moment. Noted for giving an air of legitimacy to the matches, rather than delivering the action in a tongue-in-cheek manner, like Dennis James or Dick Lane. Very authoritative style that fans of wrestling appreciated. Along with Memphis announcer Lance Russell, considered the greatest announcer in the business. Later brought in to announce Georgia Championship Wrestling, on WTBS, which eventually changed the name of their program to World Championship wrestling, after WTBS became a national cable channel, under owner Ted Turner. WCW was the highest rated program on the channel and one of the few national wrestling broadcasts. When Vince McMahon bought the promotion and the timeslot, he debuted taped WWF matches, rather than live studio wrestling, with Gordon Solie. WTBS was inundated by angry calls, demanding their "Gordon Solie wrestling." McMahon toughed it out for a year, bowing to pressure to put on studio matches, for the show, but eventually selling the slot to Jim Crockett, leading to the Crockett/WWF rivalry, of the mid-late 80s and the WCW/WWF Monday Night Wars. Gordon also announced for Ron Fullers Continental Championship Wrestling, in Pensacola and Alabama, as well as his brief attempt to revive wrestling in Knoxville. he was co-host of pro Wrestling This Week, a nationally syndicated recap show, along with producer/co-host Joe Pedicino (who also hosted a 6-hour block of wrestling programing on Atlantas WATL, along with Bonnie Blackstone, and later promoted the Global Wrestling Federation, as seen on ESPN).
Texas Death Match-match where there is no disqualification and pinfalls don't count. Two men battle each other until one can no longer answer the bell. Used as an end to feuds (the "blow-off"); popularized in Texas, by promoter/wrestler Dory Funk Sr, father of NWA World Champions Dory Jr and Terry Funk.
Pro wrestling had a history, at Marvel, thanks to Jack Kirby being a fan, as Thing fought a wrestler, in the FF, and Unus, the untouchable, was a pro wrestler, who fights Beast, in his X-Men debut. Peter Parker, wearing a mask, battles wrestler Crusher Hogan, in his public debut, but allowed a robber to escape, because he wasn't paid t stop him, leading to the death of his Uncle Ben. Crusher Hogan was later featured in a story, written by pro wrestler Scott Levy, aka Raven (in ECW, Johnny Polo, in the WWF, and Scotty the Body, Scotty Flamingo and Scotty Anthony in other promotions). Ben was part of Unlimited Class Wrestling, in his solo series, which began after MTIO was canceled. D-Man, Demolition Dunphy, had his debut there, before moving on to be a supporting character, in Captain America. Cap faced a pro wrestler, in a story by JM De Matteis. This is probably the most wrestling-centric, before the Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation stuff, in the 80s.
Next time, fewer wrestling references, as Wundarr awakes and goes walkabout! We also get to see some of the supervillains who are being held at Project PEGASUS, for study.