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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2018 4:09:52 GMT -5
Well written ... it's funny to see some interesting changes Lieutenant Colonel for Lex Luthor. It's going to be a fun read from now on.
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Post by Duragizer on Dec 5, 2018 2:11:00 GMT -5
EXT. SMALLVILLE — GAS STATION — DAY
Kenny is seated on a bench out front, reading a paperback, when a car pulls up to the pumps. Setting down his book, Kenny rises and goes to his customer.
DRIVER: 16¢ of gas. And give my windshield a cleaning, if you please.
KENNY: Not a problem, sir.
Cleaning the man's windshield, Kenny then fills the tank. Once that's done, the driver pays Kenny.
KENNY: Have yourself a fine day, sir.
Replying with a nod, the man pulls out and away.
Lana, on her bicycle, is riding along the side of the road. Nearing the gas station, she gives Kenny a wave. Taking off his cap, he waves back, smiling.
EXT. HELEN'S HOME/FRONT YARD — DAY
Lana parks her bicycle at the front step. Taking a leather portfolio up from the bike basket, she goes to the door and KNOCKS.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/BEDROOM — DAY
Clark and Helen are together under the sheets. Lying flat on her back, Helen stares deep into Clark’s eyes. He freezes in mid-thrust.
HELEN: Why'd you stop?
CLARK: There's someone at the door.
HELEN: (laughs) You can't hear the door from here.
CLARK: I heard it.
HELEN: (sighs) They'll go away.
Conceding her argument, Clark resumes his stride.
EXT. HELEN'S HOME/FRONT YARD
Lana knocks again. When Helen fails to answer the door a second time, Lana tries the knob. Finding the door unlocked, she slips inside.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/ENTRANCE HALL — DAY
LANA: Aunt Helen? Lana. (beat) I have those papers for you….
Lana creeps deeper into the house.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/BEDROOM — DAY
The lovers MOAN.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/HALLWAY OUTSIDE BEDROOM — DAY
From here, Lana can hear the lovemaking occurring in the bedroom. Curious, aroused, she silently creeps down the hall to the bedroom door, which is a crack open.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/BEDROOM — DAY
Deep in the throes of passion, neither Helen nor Clark notice the crack in the door widen.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/HALLWAY OUTSIDE BEDROOM — DAY
Discretely peering through the gap, the wry smile on Lana's lips dies as she spies who is with her aunt.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/BEDROOM — DAY
Arms and legs wrapped around Clark, Helen climaxes.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/HALLWAY OUTSIDE BEDROOM — DAY
Lana steps back, dropping the portfolio to the floor. The door then swings open of its own accord, leaving the two parties in full view of each other.
CLARK: (surprised) Lana!
Shocked, embarrassed, Lana dashes off.
CLARK: Wait! Lana!
Pulling away from Helen, Clark retrieves his pants and struggles into them.
EXT. HELEN'S HOME/FRONT YARD — DAY
Hopping on her bicycle, Lana kicks off, pedalling furiously to put distance between her and the cottage. Clark bursts through the front door.
CLARK: Lana!
Not stopping, not circling back, Lana angrily wipes unbidden tears from her eyes.
EXT. KENT FARM — CORN FIELD — DAY
To the back of the tractor has been hitched a reaper-binder. As Martha guides the tractor through the rows, the corn stalks are collected into the binder, automatically tied into bundles, then deposited out the back on the grass.
CUT TO
Some hours later.
Clad in purple flannel shirt and blue overalls, Luma goes about collecting the corn bundles from the ground, using her super strength to handle multiple bundles in both arms at once, using her super speed to stack them into shooks in a fraction of the time it would take a team of humans to complete the task.
As Luma finishes arranging the last shook, she hears a plaintive CRY. Following the sound, she looks up to find a red-tailed hawk gliding through the sky, its wings spread wide. She scrutinizes the raptor. A sense of familiarity falls over her.
INT. BARN/LOFT — DAY
Clark stands by the open loft door, looking out across the property, pensive. Hearing the CREAK of wood behind him, he looks over his shoulder to find Lana climbing the ladder. Reaching the top, she rises, facing Clark, face dark.
CLARK: (uncomfortable) Hi.
Lana approaches him.
LANA: How long?
CLARK: Lana —
LANA: (interrupts) I know what I saw, Clark. Just tell me ... how long?
CLARK: Coming up on a month now.
LANA: (nods) She is a handsome woman.
Something catching her attention, Lana glances over Clark's shoulder. Outside, Luma stands facing the barn. The bob-wearing Kryptonian looks up at them, studying them.
LANA: (frowns) Who's that?
Clark looks outside.
CLARK: (thinking) My cousin.
LANA: You've never mentioned her before. (beat) Where's she from?
CLARK: Far away. Quebec.
At Clark's touch, they leave the open door. Deeper into the loft's shadows, Clark gently takes Lana by the shoulders, gazing into her eyes imploringly.
CLARK: Don't tell anyone.
Lana studies Clark's eyes. Closing her own, she leans forward and plants a tender kiss on his cheek. Stepping away without a word, she returns to the ladder.
Clark touches his cheek, feeling the lingering warmth of her kiss.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2018 3:14:31 GMT -5
Great Story and this has a nice flow and very descriptive and shows emotions and the actions alone speaks for themselves.
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Post by Duragizer on Jan 14, 2019 0:15:57 GMT -5
The more I thought about it, the sooner I realized Luthor's introduction happens too late after Linda's arrival; it's like several weeks pass between the government's discovery of Linda's ship and Luthor being informed about its existence. To tighten the timeline, his introduction has been relocated HERE, and new Luthor scenes have been added HERE and HERE. |
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Post by Duragizer on Feb 21, 2019 4:04:08 GMT -5
INT. HELEN'S HOME/BEDROOM — DAY
Another bout of lovemaking between Clark and Helen comes to a close.
CUT TO
A minute later.
Helen and Clark lay together, sheets bunched up between them. Instead of cuddling, making pillow talk, they watch the ceiling — Helen with disinterest, Clark with dissatisfaction — a silent, palpable distance between them.
Sitting up, Helen reaches over Clark for the nightstand on his side of the bed, taking up a cigarette case and lighter resting atop a movie magazine. As she fishes a cigarette from the case, Clark picks up the magazine; an image of Greta Garbo emblazons the front cover.
CLARK: Greta Garbo. (flips through magazine) Is she a good actress?
Lighting up her cigarette, Helen shrugs.
CLARK: I don't know any of the actors. I've never been to the movies. I've never been out of Smallville to see one. (beat) My whole life.
HELEN: Poor dear. (solemn) I know that feeling well.
The two make eye contact, on the cusp of an emotional connection.
CLARK: Do you remember your first? Which was it?
Helen takes a moment to think it over.
HELEN: Frankenstein, in 1910. (takes drag) Yes, it was Frankenstein.
CLARK: What was it like?
HELEN: You've read the book.
CLARK: Certainly.
HELEN: There's your answer.
The distance returns.
Helen offers Clark her cigarette. Accepting it, Clark takes a dispassionate puff. Tobacco does nothing for him.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/ENTRANCE HALL — DAY
Helen opens the front door for Clark.
HELEN: You'll be in tomorrow, of course.
CLARK: It'll be a long day for me. I don't believe I'll make it in.
HELEN: Then the day after.
CLARK: The family's entertaining a guest — my cousin Luma, visiting down from Canada. I'm sorry.
Clark enters the threshold.
HELEN: (raises hand) Just a moment!
Stopping in the door, Clark waits for Helen as she leaves for another room. In a minute she returns, a fresh-baked pie in hand.
HELEN: (offers pie to Clark) Pecan.
CLARK: Thank you.
Helen starts to smile.
CLARK: (cont'd) Ma has allergies, but I appreciate the gesture.
The nascent smile dies.
CLARK: (forlorn) Take good care of yourself, Hel.
Clark steps through the door, closing it after him. Helen is left standing in the entrance hall, alone with her pie.
INT. LANG HOME/LANA'S BEDROOM — DAY
In her undergarments, singing softly to herself, Lana goes through her closet. She finds two items: a red blouse and a beige sweater. Looking them over, she chooses the sweater. Setting the sweater down beside a brown skirt atop her bed, she crosses over to her dresser. Gazing into the dresser mirror, she checks her hair. As she tucks an errant lock behind her ear, she sees in the reflection a face outside her bedroom window.
LANA: (gasps) Jumpin' Jesus!
Spinning 'round, she finds it is Clark gazing in on her. She strides to the window; flinging it open, she leans out; Clark clutches the window frame, feet braced tightly against the wall, suspended two storeys above the ground, nothing on or against the wall he could've used to scale it.
LANA: How'd you ever manage‽
Taking a step back, Lana allows Clark to climb inside. She places her fists on her hips, none too pleased with Clark.
LANA: You're a voyeur, too, now?
CLARK: Sorry. (averts gaze)
LANA: Suppose I can't fault you. Must be desensitized to the sight of bubs by now.
Moving to her bed, Lana takes up her sweater.
LANA: Let's not futz around. (slips sweater on) What's on your mind?
CLARK: It's over.
Lana takes up her skirt, eyes intent on Clark.
CLARK: (beat) Between your aunt and me.
LANA: (slips skirt on) Face stretcher wore thin?
CLARK: (turns to window) I should go.
LANA: (buttons skirt) Clark — no.
Taking him by the wrist, she sits him down beside her on the bed, ready to hear what he has to say.
CLARK: It was sex. Just sex. Nothing else. (beat) I tried to love her. I tried. But she wouldn't let me in. (beat) Lana, is it me? Is there something wrong with me?
LANA: Clark ... you're a sap. A real sap. But my God ... your heart is big. You, you shine — a sun on Earth. (beat) I pity Hel, if she can't see you ... (touches his lips) ... appreciate you….
There is a loud RAP at the door, startling them both.
SARAH LANG: (O.S.) Lana, are you decent?
LANA: (faces door; irate) Mother!
SARAH LANG: (O.S.) Peter's just arrived.
LANA: (to herself) Oh, Pete! (to Mrs. Lang) I'll be right down!
Rising, Lana retrieves her shoes.
CLARK: Having a night on the town with Pete?
Slipping into her shoes, Lana nods.
CLARK: Since when have you and Pete ...?
LANA: Clark, we've been going steady two weeks. (beat) You didn't realize?
CLARK: No. (bewildered) I've missed out on a lot.
LANA: (sighs) That you have.
EXT. KENT FARM — KENT HOME/BACK PORCH — TWILIGHT
Luma sits in an easy chair. Shelby resting on the porch to her left, she stares into the twilight sky overhead, pensive.
Clark emerges onto the porch.
LUMA: I require more books.
CLARK: I'll pay the library a visit tomorrow. I'll check the Complete Works of Shakespeare out for you.
LUMA: Is Shakespeare weighty?
CLARK: I'll pick you up The Canterbury Tales, too.
Clark follows Luma's gaze into the sky. The stars are beginning to emerge, twinkling against the deepening darkness.
LUMA: Clark?
CLARK: Yes?
LUMA: Are you ... you are aroused by these Terran women?
CLARK: (taken aback) Yes.
LUMA: Jonathan is a handsome man, it is true. Yet his scent is ... alien. (morose) I will never take to its like.
CLARK: (frowns) Luma ... what's your earliest memory?
LUMA: Your mother stripping me nude.
CLARK: You have absolutely no memory of how you came here? Why you came? Where you came from?
Luma looks to Shelby. The dog is asleep, her head between her paws.
LUMA: My name is Luma-Lyn. That is all I remember….
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
Seated in a spacious armchair, Helen reaches for the candlestick telephone on the stand beside her. Lifting the receiver from the switch hook, she dials a number.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
After long seconds of ringing, Jonathan enters the kitchen and strides up to the wood-panelled wall telephone.
JONATHAN: (answers phone) Jonathan here.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: (smiles) Dearest Jonathan.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
JONATHAN: (frowns) Who's this?
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: (wry) I'm surprised at you. Granted, it's been a spell. But so long as to forget the voice of your oldest, closest friend?
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
JONATHAN: (stern) Helen.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: You remember!
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
JONATHAN: If you're calling after Clark, he isn't available.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: Oh, you'll do. Quite nicely.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
JONATHAN: How may I help you today, Hel?
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: Clark and I've spent quite the amount of time together. So much time, I wake some mornings thinking I'm Mrs. Helen Kent. (chuckles) Thanksgiving's fast approaching. I'll be hosting a dinner. I've invited my sister and her family. While I know Clark isn't family, it simply wouldn't do to exclude him and his from the festivities.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
JONATHAN: I don't think so, Helen.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: (sighs) I suppose I can call back later; perhaps Martha'll be available to pick up the line. Or perhaps I'll drive out to your quaint, picturesque property and pay your wife a personal visit. (beat) We have much to discuss, she and I, and I can be quite the chatterbox. (malicious) Quite the chatterbox.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
Jonathan doesn't speak a word.
INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — NIGHT
HELEN: And don't forget to include your niece. Clark has told me all about her; I'm simply perishing to meet the perfect dear.
INT. KENT HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT
The line goes dead.
FADE OUT
END CREDITS
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2019 4:04:49 GMT -5
Loved this scene ... very 50's style of you mentioning the Sweater here and quite descriptive and nicely done here. The ending of Clark learning that she has been seeing Pete for two weeks shows the insecurity of Clark here and that's alone makes him Human. That's a nice touch here.
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Post by Duragizer on Mar 22, 2019 2:52:46 GMT -5
Lately I've begun experiencing "purist pangs", and now I'm considering changing Kara/Linda into a different female Kryptonian unrelated to Supergirl. Just a heads-up.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2019 20:14:34 GMT -5
After April of this year; I'll be taking a month long vacation and I'll be here on limited capacity and I'll try to read your stories the first chance I get Duragizer ... because I enjoy reading them very much!  |
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Post by Duragizer on Mar 30, 2019 3:55:14 GMT -5
Finished the latest set of touch-ups to the script. They are as follow: - Krypton is now identified as Krypton (figured keeping the planet's name a mystery was pointless)
- Kara/Linda has been changed to Luma-Lyn (a character inspired by Luma Lynai)
- Mrs. Bogdanove is now Miss Maggin
- Lana's mother's name has been changed from Carol to Sarah (the character's name pre-Crisis)
- Lana's father's name has been changed from Thomas to Lewis (ditto)
- Nell's name has been changed to Helen (the character's name post-Crisis)
- Removed Luthor's scenes (I've decided to place his introduction in Act II instead)
I've also decided to retool my original plot somewhat. I've decided against making Luthor a military officer; I'll be making him a weapons scientist/defense conglomerate magnate instead. Also, Brainiac won't be making an appearance; a different character will serve as secondary antagonist (I won't reveal who just yet). My apologies for these disorienting changes. |
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Post by Duragizer on Jun 3, 2019 5:50:45 GMT -5
In light of upcoming story developments, I felt it necessary to provide insight into Luma's life on Krypton. Four new flashback scenes have been inserted HERE, HERE, and HERE. |
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Post by Duragizer on Jun 23, 2019 23:37:56 GMT -5
I've come to realize that I have too much story to fit comfortably inside a trilogy of feature-length screenplays, so I've decided to retool my Superman trilogy into a three-season series instead. Everything from the destruction of Krypton to the development of Clark's powers is Episode 1, everything from Labor Day weekend to Jonathan's phone conversation with Helen is Episode 2, and I imagine a minimum of five further episodes to follow, bringing Season 1 to a close.
Aside from adding "OPENING/END CREDITS" tags to delineate the two episodes, I've removed the Luma flashbacks. They will be fleshed out into a separate flashback episode later on.
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Post by Duragizer on Sept 19, 2019 22:19:53 GMT -5
THE LAST SON OF KRYPTON
"THANKSGIVING"
FADE IN
On Helen Potter standing tall in her spick-and-span kitchen, a white apron with pink frills worn over the front of her dress.
On her counter, arranged with all the tidiness of a surgeon prepared for surgery, are the ingredients and supplies needed to make a pecan pie.
CUT TO
Helen feeding kindling into her wood stove.
CUT TO
Helen combining flour, salt, white sugar, cubed butter, and water in a bowl with a pastry cutter.
CUT TO
Helen rolling out the dough.
CUT TO
Helen lining a pie tin with dough.
CUT TO
Helen crimping the edges of the crust.
CUT TO
Helen lining the crust with parchment before weighing it down with hard beans.
CUT TO
Helen placing the unbaked crust in the oven.
CUT TO
Helen whisking a melted mixture of butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, flour, milk, salt, vanilla extract, and bourbon in a saucepan.
CUT TO
Helen breaking three eggs into a bowl, then gradually pouring the brown fluid into them, blending with the whisk.
CUT TO
Helen removing the baked crust from the oven.
CUT TO
Helen removing the beans and parchment from the crust, adding crushed pecans, then pouring in the filling.
CUT TO
Helen placing the pie in the oven.
An hour later.
Opening the oven, Helen fishes out the fresh, hot pecan pie. Bring it to her face, she inhales, savouring the aroma. Crossing to the open kitchen window, she sets the steaming pie on the sill to cool.
FADE OUT
BEGIN OPENING CREDITS
END OPENING CREDITS
FADE IN
On Luma in her bedroom, in a pretty carmine dress, seated before her vanity, running the bristles of a horsehair brush through her hair at a methodic pace, her expression sedate.
Finished styling her hair, she sets the brush down. She glances to the window; the sky outside is dark gray with cloud. Rising from her chair, she moves toward the window. She doesn't stride but glides, levitating an inch above the floor as she moves toward the pane. Levitating there, she stares outside, just studying the weather.
The door opens; Martha leans inside.
MARTHA
Luma? We're set to go.
LUMA
I'll be down shortly.
Nodding once, Martha steps out and closes the door; she obviously didn't take notice of Luma's levitation. Touching down, Luma collects the shoes at the foot of her bed.
INT. KENT HOME/ENTRANCE HALL — TWILIGHT
Jonathan is standing in wait at the door when Martha comes down from upstairs.
MARTHA
She'll be right down.
JONATHAN
Where's Clark?
MARTHA
(raises voice) Clark? (beat) Clark?
Luma comes down the stairs. She trains her eyes ahead of her, focusing them.
LUMA
He's out in the barn.
MARTHA
Be a dear and fetch him?
INT. BARN/LOFT — TWILIGHT
Dressed in his best clothes, Clark sits reading a hardback novel. Luma leaps in through the open loft door.
LUMA
(scrutinizes book) Frankenstein. (beat) You've read this one.
CLARK
Mmm-hmm.
LUMA
I can recall chapter and verse after a single reading.
CLARK
Me too.
LUMA
(shrugs) Why bother?
CLARK
It relaxes me.
Closing the book, Clark rises. The two Kryptonians stand there a moment, each studying the other.
LUMA
(offers hand) They're waiting.
Clark takes Luma's hand.
EXT. KENT FARM — BARN — TWILIGHT
The two Kryptonians step through the loft door. Hand-in-hand they float down, alighting on the ground gently.
EXT. KENT FARM — KENT HOME — TWILIGHT
Clark and Luma approach the Kents' four-year-old Ford Model A sedan; Jonathan and Martha are already seated inside. Clark opens the back left door for her. The two Kryptonians exchange glances, then Luma slips inside. Clark closes the door for her. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2019 8:07:26 GMT -5
This is the best short story that you've written ... Loved it. Carmine Dress ... Classy!
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Post by Duragizer on Sept 25, 2019 2:56:00 GMT -5
I've changed my mind about having Clark able to instinctively understand Kryptonian. I removed the babysitting scene entirely, since its only purpose was to show baby Clark had latent understanding of his native tongue, and rewrote the scenes with Clark and Luma conversing in Kryptonian.
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Post by Duragizer on Dec 31, 2019 6:26:50 GMT -5
I'm hoping to resume work on this soon. Stay tuned.
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