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Post by Icctrombone on Jul 6, 2017 12:26:54 GMT -5
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Post by Ish Kabbible on Jul 6, 2017 13:01:40 GMT -5
It should be a "Mind Your Own Business" society
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 13:04:34 GMT -5
Just my opinion:
If the loss is sudden I think the grieving time is longer. Getting remarried within a year? Maybe too soon. Beyond that? depends on the situation/ages of the people involved.
In the case of cancer/other prolonged illness the spouse has already had a loss over time as they watch their partner slowly deteriorate. So when death occurs yes there is a loss but there is also some relief. So I think people in these situations can remarry within less than a year without it seeming too soon.
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Post by Slam_Bradley on Jul 6, 2017 13:08:00 GMT -5
Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. There is no right answer.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 13:10:16 GMT -5
It should be a "Mind Your Own Business" society True. But I think this is a great question that can be discussed here. Especially since we all will probably face it (I know I have in my own extended family). |
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Post by brutalis on Jul 6, 2017 13:11:41 GMT -5
Each person should do what they feel is right for them. Nobody else's opinions or thoughts matter except for the 2 involved in the relationship.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 13:14:30 GMT -5
Each person should do what they feel is right for them. Nobody else's opinions or thoughts matter except for the 2 involved in the relationship. I would add if there are children involved you should take into account their feelings & how they are dealing with the loss of a parent. |
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Post by brutalis on Jul 6, 2017 13:24:27 GMT -5
Each person should do what they feel is right for them. Nobody else's opinions or thoughts matter except for the 2 involved in the relationship. I would add if there are children involved you should take into account their feelings & how they are dealing with the loss of a parent. Age of the children is a factor. I will grant that you should consider children's involvement but in the end it is the adults remarrying and not the children. You want someone who loves and accepts your children for certain. Known women and men who wouldn't remarry or date just because of the children which is rather going too far in an extreme. Yet there are also those who remarry simply for the children's sake so which is correct? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 13:31:58 GMT -5
I would add if there are children involved you should take into account their feelings & how they are dealing with the loss of a parent. Age of the children is a factor. I will grant that you should consider children's involvement but in the end it is the adults remarrying and not the children. You want someone who loves and accepts your children for certain. Known women and men who wouldn't remarry or date just because of the children which is rather going too far in an extreme. Yet there are also those who remarry simply for the children's sake so which is correct? Neither is correct. Not marrying because of the children or marrying for the children. All I am saying is make sure the new parent is accepting of your children. Maybe you need to delay remarriage to allow your children to work thru their grief also.
It is a lot to ask of your new partner to marry you which should be a happy time... when your children may be still working thru their loss making the situation an even sadder time for them because it re-emphasizes the fact that their mom or dad has died.
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Post by Icctrombone on Jul 6, 2017 13:57:59 GMT -5
It should be a "Mind Your Own Business" society True. But I think this is a great question that can be discussed here. Especially since we all will probably face it (I know I have in my own extended family). Thanks, MJ. This a forum. We discuss things here. |
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Post by Ish Kabbible on Jul 6, 2017 14:03:53 GMT -5
True. But I think this is a great question that can be discussed here. Especially since we all will probably face it (I know I have in my own extended family). Thanks, MJ. This a forum. We discuss things here. Were you the one who wanted to shut down the politics thread? Be consistant |
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Post by Icctrombone on Jul 6, 2017 15:01:27 GMT -5
Is this your way of getting even?
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Post by Roquefort Raider on Jul 6, 2017 16:07:32 GMT -5
I couldn't see myself marrying again if the love of my life died. But then, I don't live that reality (and hope I never will). One thing's for sure: I don't view remarrying as any kind of betrayal. I believe people should really follow their heart and their conscience and do what they believe is right. Another thing to consider is that not only is every marriage different, it also evolves over time. Losing one's spouse during the early "OUR LOVE IS SETTING THE UNIVERSE ON FIRE" phase is like a punch in the gut and a kick in the groin, and the world must look like a terrible, hellish place right after... but time is a great healer, and that romantic passion we just saw extinguished can probably be restarted again and still blaze like a fourth of July. Passion can be found anew in young 'uns. Meanwhile, losing one's spouse after 30 years together is losing one's best friend. It's losing one half of something that you've been part of for most of your life. It's losing your right hand and part of your heart, plus one lung and one kidney. That can never, ever be replaced, if only because there's not enough time (and besides an old person does not feel the same type of passions as a young one). I could see bereaved people finding comfort and affection in someone else after losing a love of 30 years, and be really honest about it, but I'm sure they wouldn't pretend it was the same thing. Plus there are so many possible scenarios... "John, I never dared tell you but I never forgot you after we dated in fifth grade" (Saw that happen, actually). "You know, Mary, you've been such a great comfort since Sue die... now I can't imagine living without you". "Bob, you're such a great guy and I love your kids... they really need a mother". "I married to please my parents but now I want to marry for LOVE!" etc, etc... Great subject, icc! |
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Post by Icctrombone on Jul 6, 2017 16:45:35 GMT -5
I have heard that if your spouse had a long term disease like Cancer, your mind lets them go long before they pass. It's sad. It's true, that Kids make everything different.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 17:06:04 GMT -5
I have heard that if your spouse had a long term disease like Cancer, your mind lets them go long before they pass. It's sad. It's true. I have seen this many times with family & friends. |
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