Hiya, gang. Mind if I vent for a moment?

So I'm off to the doctor's tomorrow to get tested for something called peripheral neuropathy. What I first took to be some mild cramping in my lower legs has evolved into something altogether different over the last eight weeks or so. I'm now subject to an excruciating burning sensation that strikes without warning and follows no discernible pattern. At first it occurred only on the inner sides of my calves (roughly parallel to the zippers in my compression socks), then after a week or two spread to the front of my shins, then to the back. It sometimes seems to radiate from a point just below my kneecap. At other times, it's like a red-hot band encircling my whole knee. At those times, the skin becomes highly sensitive, so that something as harmless as a bedsheet passing across it can set my teeth on edge. For a long time, it happened primarily around and shortly after bedtime. Later it began to flare up around the time I ate breakfast as well. The attacks have steadily increased in frequency, duration and intensity, until now I'm in pain more often than not. Most of this has been confined to my right leg, but pain in the left is becoming more common. It's often accompanied by severe cramping of my right hamstring, particularly at night. The mildest symptom, and the one that predates the others by months, is a constant tingling in my legs and feet, as if they'd fallen asleep (though I, in fact, retain full sensation).

This can't go on. It's affecting my sleep cycle (for the last three nights in a row, I've had to get out of bed around 3AM and sit in my wheelchair for an hour or so until the pain subsides) and wreaked bloody havoc with my work schedule. I haven't written a usable paragraph for the new book in some six weeks. Even running the Twelve Days event proved to be a major strain. From what I've gathered from the Mayo Clinic website, peripheral neuropathy has a number of possible causes, some of which clearly don't apply to me, and comes with a wide range of treatment options, everything from simple dietary adjustment to major surgery. I don't expect I'll get any definitive answers tomorrow. Aside from ordering some blood tests, I suspect my PCP will end up referring me to a neurologist.

I don't mind admitting I'm scared. I was originally supposed to see my doctor on December 20, but postponed it due to horrible weather. That may have been a mistake. The longer neuropathy goes without being properly diagnosed and treated, the more likely its effects become irreversible. That'd be hard to swallow. I'm no stranger to chronic pain--my degenerative disc disease has seen to that--but this pain is on an entirely different level. I'm afraid this could ultimately mean the end of my independence, my capacity for living alone. It could also mean dependency on either painkillers or anti-depressants (which are effective in relieving the symptoms in many cases) for the rest of my life. At the very least, I'm afraid it could spell the end of my budding career as a writer, as nerve compression caused by long periods of repetitive motion (like typing the way I do) is one of the likeliest causes. (I'd pass on some of the other possible causes, but I think it'd freak me out even more if I wrote then out.)

That's everything, I guess. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes as well as it can, and that I'm looking at a simple cause and simpler treatment.

Cei-U!

I summon a cure for my pre-appointment jitters!