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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:04:38 GMT -5
Back before I had the idea for Lash House, before I'd joined CBR, and certainly before the folks at Marvel concocted a minor storyline called Civil War, I put together a proposal for a 12-issue maxi-series I tentatively titled "Avengers Triumphant!" The other day while looking for something unrelated on the old 'puter, I saw the file folder containing my original notes for the series, including a completed script for the first issue. In honor of the upcoming Captain America: Civil War (I have tickets for Saturday), I thought I'd share that script with y'all. You might be as amazed as I was at my prescience, lo, those many years ago. Or not. Either way, here we go!
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:05:15 GMT -5
Page 1
Panel 1: Vertical longshot of a narrow stretch of deserted beach. A figure sits staring out to sea, the white sands beneath him aglow with the reflected light of a full moon (behind us to our left in this shot). Tropical jungle looms, black and impenetrable, behind him. A stubby volcano, its ragged crater obscured by wisps of moonlit smoke, rises into the star-studded sky beyond.
Caption (1): They call it a “rehabilitation colony” but what it is is a concentration camp.
Caption (2): Not that they torture you or anything like that. Long as you do your work, keep your eyes open and your mouth shut, you can get by okay.
Panel 2: Dolly in, rotating the camera 45° to his left, on the barefoot man, his eyes still on the ocean. He is dressed in nothing but dirty, threadbare coveralls. Despite his tatterdemalion appearance, he is clearly a rugged specimen of American manhood. His wrists, forearms and shoulders are particularly well-developed. His dirty blonde hair is long and unkempt. His face bears several weeks' growth of beard.
Caption (3): On good days, it feels a little like summer camp: comfortable beds, tolerable food, fresh air and exercise…
Panel 3: Dolly in closer, shooting from just below his left shoulder as he looks up into the full moon. The shadow of Dragon Man crosses its face.
Caption (4): …maybe too much exercise.
Caption (5): Dodging monsters is hard work.
Panel 4: Panoramic shot. In the left foreground stands a heavily-armed Adamsesque futuristic guard tower topped with a bank of floodlights and manned by two men in glistening silver Mandroid armor (see Avengers #94). They are pointing to something happening off-panel past the left panel border. Behind them, beyond the jungle belt, a distant figure walks into the surf.
Caption (6): There's thunder on the wind. The Hulk and The Abomination are going at it again. If it's like their last brawl, it'll draw guards from all over the island.
Caption (7): Perfect.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:05:53 GMT -5
Pages 2-3
A double page spread of Residential Compound B of the Monster Isle Rehabilitation Colony: a neatly arranged circle of unadorned prefabricated buildings: dining hall, infirmary, motor pool and other administration buildings at panel left; dormitories, duplexes and scattered private bungalows on the right; a large exercise yard in the center. The whole is surrounded by particle beam fences with manned guard towers every hundred yards. Just beneath a flagpole flying the American and Air Force flags brawl The Hulk and The Abomination, dirt and debris rising in a cloud around them. Gathered around the combatants are the other inmates, some rooting for one side or the other, some collecting bets, some looking on in quiet bemusement. The strongest and most savage of the prisoners—The Gray Gargoyle, The Griffin, Mister Hyde, Quasimodo, Sabretooth, Stegron, Woodgod and two of the Ani-Men (the mutant versions of Bird Man and Cat Man introduced in X-Men #94)—crowd closest to the action. Another 25-30 inmates, male and female, mill about separately or in groups of twos or threes. Most of the men have beards of various lengths and all prisoners with hair are wildly shaggy. Among the familiar faces in the crowd: Anaconda, The Blob, Diamondhead (the Nova villain), Doctor Octopus (minus his mechanical arms), Egghead, Frankenstein's Monster, Hammerhead, Howard the Duck, The Juggernaut, The Leader, Madame Hydra, The Mad Thinker, Modok (in a custom-made manual wheelchair), The Purple Man, The Ramrod, Thundra, Tigra, Will o' the Wisp and The Wizard. In one corner of the yard, Machine Man and The Vision talk quietly; in another, an Ultron watches them suspiciously. All three are in various degrees of disrepair. Morbius perches atop his bungalow watching the action. The Man-Thing and The Awesome Android look on from different spots on the other side of the fence. The shadow of Fin Fang Foom can just be made out amidst the trees. Everyone but the robots and bigger monsters wears coveralls like the man on the beach. Thunderbolt Ross, in shirtsleeves, stands in the doorway of the admin building, hands in his pockets, pipe between his teeth. In the towers and interspersed throughout the population are Mandroid guards, approximately one for every three inmates, some now running towards the fight with neutralizer rods* aglow.
Caption (1): Just another Friday night on Monster Isle.
Title (2): Avengers Triumphant! (working title)
Title (3): Book One: Anachronisms (working title)
*A staff approximately seven feet long that serves as all-purpose weapon for the Monster Isle security staff.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:06:34 GMT -5
Page 4
Panel 1: Bird's-eye view of the prisoner standing knee deep in the ocean. For the first time we can see that the back of his jumpsuit is in tatters. Beneath it, his back is criss-crossed with scars old and new.
Caption (1): Officially, I'm federal prisoner MIRC-MD-0023-X but most folks just call me Hawkeye. I've been here for nearly seven years. Tomorrow morning, I'll either be free… or dead.
Panel 2: Our POV drops down to eye level and dollies in to a medium close-up. Hawkeye looks over his shoulder into the camera, a breeze blowing his hair back. Four deep but long-healed gashes (claw marks, courtesy of Jack Russell) scar the right side of his head, running from just below his jowl, up his cheekbone and through his ear, leaving almost nothing of its outer structure.
Caption (2): Right now, I'm not sure which I prefer.
Caption (3): The fight won't last forever. I've got to…
Panel 3: Reverse angle, full-figure shot. He searches the jumpsuit's pockets, panic on his face.
Caption (4): Wait a minute… where'd I put it?
Panel 4: Close up of Hawkeye's right hand. He holds a tiny, vaguely Kirbyesque transmitter in his dirty fingertips.
Caption (5): Ah.
Caption (6): Hard to believe my life depends on this little gizmo. It took The Wizard months to cobble together. If it works, I can slip off the island undetected.
Caption (7): If it doesn't…
Panel 5: Silhouetted against the moon, Hawkeye drops the transmitter into his mouth.
Caption (8): Here goes nothing.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:07:18 GMT -5
Page 5
Panels 1-5 are laid out as a stack of horizontal panels.
Panel 1: Shot from water level of Hawkeye swimming toward us, the island a few hundred yards behind him.
Caption (1): So far, so good.
Caption (2): Bet that's what Man-Bull was thinking too… before the end.
Panel 2: Hawkeye, eyes barely out of the water at panel's center, sees a Sentinel (the original Kirby/Adams model) jetting straight for him from the right, a ghostly black presence lit only by the cold pinlights of its eyes and the flames of its boot jets.
Caption (3): Uh oh. Sentinel at two o'clock. If he's noticed me, I'm toast.
Panel 3: Same shot as previous, with the Sentinel flying into the distance at panel left, trailing fire.
Caption (4): Hot damn, it works! Wizard, you magnificent bastard!
Panel 4: Long shot. Dawn, as Hawkeye continues to swim. A fogbank has rolled in.
Caption (5): 's been hours since I left land. Where's my ride?
Panel 5: The back of Hawkeye's head looms at panel left. Beyond him, the shape of Cap'n Barracuda's submarine (as seen in Sub-Mariner #10) can just be made out through the fog, its crew silhouetted by the vessel's lights.
Caption (6): There.
Barracuda (7): Ahoy there, ye lubber! Here, and be quick about it!
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:08:44 GMT -5
Page 6
Panel 1: Barracuda and two crewmen, all dressed in their costumes from Sub-Mariner #10, help Hawkeye climb the metal ladder up the sub's side and onto its deck. They are ghostly in the thick fog.
Hawkeye (1): Captain Barracuda, I presume.
Barracuda (2): Aye. Welcome aboard.
Barracuda (3): There's vittles an' likker in me cabin to warm ye with.
Panel 2: Interior, Barracuda's richly appointed but tiny cabin. Hawkeye, wrapped in blankets, sits at a table in the foreground, wolfing down cold chicken, bread and cheese by lamplight. The captain stands, cigar in hand, examining a framed map of Atlantis on the wall.
Barracuda (4): Sorry we're late. Had to dodge a destroyer. Navy knows ye're gone.
Hawkeye (5): Just get me to America, Captain. That's all I ask.
Barracuda (6): I'm a man o' me word, sor. I was paid to deliver ye an' deliver ye I will.
Panel 3: Close up of Barracuda looking grim, his face wreathed in cigar smoke.
Barracuda (7): I advise ye to stay in here til we reach land. Some o' me hearties ben't too happy 'bout havin' an Avenger on board.
Panel 4: Barracuda stands outside the cabin door, hand on the latch, looking back in at Hawkeye.
Hawkeye (8): There was a time you'da said that name with respect.
Barracuda (9): Aye. An' I be prayin' a time comes when I do again… fer all our sakes.
Panel 5: We look down at Hawkeye as he lays motionless in bed staring up at the ceiling. His hair is now clean and spread around him on the pillow. He is shirtless. Fresh bandages dot his shoulders, arms and torso. On the nightstand next to his bed sits an empty bottle of Captain Morgan and a tumbler of melted ice.
Caption (10): It’s so quiet.
Caption (11): No monsters chomping on who knows what. No whispered plots for world conquest. No Hulk farts, thank God!
Caption (12): I'll never be able to fall asleep.
Caption (13): Can't believe I'm out…
Caption (14): …gotta find Steve… warn'm 'bout…
Caption (15): …mnm…
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:09:25 GMT -5
Page 7
Panel 1: Night. The submarine's conning tower pokes above the surface, its gaze focused on the lights of the San Francisco waterfront in the distance.
Caption (1): San Francisco. I got shanghaied here back in my carny days. Those were good times.
Panel 2: Reverse angle longshot of the surfaced sub cruising down a tunnel of worn and slimy stone periodically reinforced by modern steel bracing. Along the walls run a narrow walkway and wrought-iron guardrail. The tunnel is dimly lit by red bulbs in sconces mounted every fifty feet. Hawkeye and Barracuda stand on deck, their heads barely clearing the tunnel roof. The former has shorn his long locks to shoulder length and shaved off his beard. He is dressed as a merchant seaman, a watchcap pulled low to partially hide his scars.
Caption (2): Incredible. A secret system of channels running beneath the city. Only a handful of people know they exist. Barracuda's one of them. Now I'm another.
Panel 3: Medium shot. Hawkeye, duffel slung over one shoulder, stands on the lowest rungs of a ladder leading upward and shakes hands with Barracuda.
Caption (3): I don't think he's too thrilled about that.
Hawkeye (4): Thank you, Cap'n. You've been a gracious host.
Barracuda (5): Safe waters, laddie. Me mate'll fix ye up proper from here.
Panel 4: Hawkeye emerges from a sewer grating in an alleyway. In the street beyond him are beggars, streetwalkers and other denizens of the seamy side of urban life.
Caption (6): Son of a gun. Right in the middle of the Tenderloin, as promised.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:10:12 GMT -5
Pages 8-9
Panel 1: Double-page spread, occupying the top half of both pages. A San Francisco street scene of Hawkeye (heading toward panel right) and others (going both ways) on a crosswalk. The fashions and advertising say it's an autumn afternoon in the Tenderloin circa 1979. Look beyond and you're in a world of Kirbyesque futuristic technology. About a third of the cars are hovercraft, like the Fantasticar but adapted to contemporary automotive styles. They range in size from small one-person craft to panel truck-like freight carriers to a city bus. Vehicles fly no more than a foot or two above the pavement. A police cruiser flashes past, lights atwirl, at fourth story height. Traffic signals, too, hover in mid-air with no outward sign of support or power source. Outside a seedy bar, two burly bikers climb atop a pair of chopped jet-cycles (see Fantastic Four #55 for the prototype). At a sidewalk kiosk, a streetwalker talks to her pimp on a TV screen. A legless man sits at one corner in a grimy hoverchair, holding a cardboard sign reading “Kree-Skrull War Veteran—Please Help.” Here and there, H.E.R.B.I.E. robots flit in and out of stores, some carrying bags and parcels.
Caption (1): Wow.
Caption (2): Guess I was away longer than I thought.
Caption (3): Hovercars.
Caption (4): Videophones.
Caption (5): Robot errand runners.
Caption (6): Brave new world, anyone?
Page 8, Panel 2: Longshot of the Blue Parrot: strip club, pornographic bookstore and gaudy neon beacon of degeneracy. A small crowd of panhandlers, streetwalkers and drug dealers mill around the front entrance. Hawkeye climbs the side fire escape, his destination an unmarked steel door on the third floor of the brick building.
Caption (7): Maybe not.
Caption (8): Time was, you'd never catch me near a dump like this. Things change.
Caption (9): I've got clothes and cash thanks to the captain but what I really need…
Page 9, Panel 2: In the foreground, The Tinkerer uses a jeweler's loupe to add some last-minute details to an American passport. Hawkeye stands behind him, hands in pockets. The walls behind him are covered with the faded tatters of decades-old posters for cheesy American-International (or AI-style) horror movies.
Caption (10): …is a name.
Caption (11): They used to call him The Terrible Tinkerer. He designed, built and maintained the gear for dozens of super-villains.
Caption (12): Now he sells forged documents out of a grimy room above a topless bar.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:10:54 GMT -5
Page 10
Panel 1: Close-up of Hawkeye's hand holding a Maine Drivers' License with his picture on it. The name on the card is Benjamin Franklin Pierce. The city is Crabapple Cove, of course.
Caption (1): My new name is… oh, puh-leez…
Caption (2): Guess I'm lucky he didn't make me Natty Bumppo.
Panel 2: Full figure shot. Back on the street, Hawkeye buys a newspaper from a sidewalk vending machine.
Caption (3): Okay, “Ben Pierce,” let's find out what's going on in the world.
Panel 3: The front page of the October 17, 1979 edition of the San Francisco Chronicle from Hawkeye's POV. His hands can be seen holding the paper. The headline is AMERICA PREPARED TO GO IT ALONE, JAMESON TELLS UN. The accompanying photograph shows J. Jonah Jameson addressing the United Nations General Assembly. A smaller headline reads WAKANDA WITHDRAWS FROM UN followed by the sub-head T'Challa Calls American “Warmongering” Unacceptable above a photo montage showing T'Challa both in and out of his Black Panther costume.
Caption (4): It's worse than I expected. Foggy Nelson in the White House. Talbot at Defense. Jonah Jameson at the UN.
Caption (5): And Corcoran is Secretary of State.
Caption (6): Am I too late? Can even Steve turn it around now?
Panel 4: Downshot of Hawkeye, reading his paper as he walks. A dozen people headed in the opposite direction crowd past him on the sidewalk.
Crowd (7, small): …can't believe I get to see them in person…
Crowd (8, small): …smash a mutie or two…
Crowd (9, small): …hurry if we want to find a good…
Crowd (10, small): …the green hair is hot, dude…
Crowd (11, small): …horrible noise…
Crowd (12, small): …coolest thing ever…
Crowd (13, small): …sure it's safe?
Caption (14): Huh? What's going on?
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:11:32 GMT -5
Page 11
Panel 1: Medium shot of Hawkeye pushing his way through the crowd, a hand up to shield his face from the heat mentioned below.
Caption (1): Ground's shaking and… Whoa, feel that heat.
Panel 2: Same POV. Hawkeye and the others react to the deafening concussion of a nearby sonic boom.
Caption (2): Ow! Sonic boom!
Panel 3: In the foreground, Hawkeye and others, including a uniformed cop, stand behind a barricade. Beyond it, three super-villains race full throttle down a busy street. Klaw is in the lead, leaping from cartop to cartop. Behind him, Solarr turns as he runs and fires solar bolts at unseen targets to the left of the panel. The Rhino brings up the rear. As is his wont, Rhino simply crashes through or bats aside anything in his way, leaving a trail of mangled vehicles behind him.
Caption (3): The Rhino.
Caption (4): Solarr.
Caption (5): Klaw.
Caption (6): All running. All scared. It can mean only one thing…
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:12:15 GMT -5
Pages 12-13
Double page spread of the same scene. Our view has shifted 45º to the right so we are looking back down the street at the aforementioned trio of super-baddies. To the left, The Falcon swoops past Solarr, easily dodging his solar blast (which strikes a hot dog stand, destroying it). Solarr's aim is off because he's being struck by a magnetically-propelled fender torn from a parked car. Blood spurts from a gash in his shoulder. Behind him, The Swordsman, sword drawn and electrified, a cruel grin spread across his face, stands prepared to leap into action from atop a reasonably undamaged panel truck. In panel center, an 18-foot-tall Rick Jones dressed in Hank Pym's 1965 Giant-Man costume (see Tales to Astonish #65) falls ungracefully atop a classic Mustang convertible, crushing it. To the right of him, The Rhino slams into John Proudstar, rocking the Native American mutant back on his heels. Thunderbird is clad in a variant of his original costume (see Giant-Size X-Men #1) made of leather armor.* Above their heads floats Polaris, Lorna Dane, wearing the Neal Adams version of her Steranko-designed costume (see X-Men #57), her magnetic powers focused on Solarr. In the right foreground, Klaw is interrupted in the act of sonically blasting Goliath by The Black Knight astride a Wundagorean mechanical steed (see Thor #134). He cuts a bloodless gash across the villain's face with the edge of Captain America's shield (repainted with the Knight’s eagle emblem) while cutting Klaw's prosthetic hand/sonic blaster off at the wrist with his enchanted Ebony Sword. Scattered throughout this mayhem are the drivers and passengers of the vehicles being mangled, fleeing in various states of injury and hysteria, some (like the Mustang owner and the hot dog vendor) barely escaping with their lives.
Caption (1): Uh huh.
Logo: The Avengers
Caption (2): …or what passes for them these days.
Caption (3): There's The Falcon. Never thought I'd see Sam sell out.
Caption (4): Swordsman. Hasn't anybody killed you yet, Jacques?
Caption (5): A new Goliath… Giant-Man… whatever. Wonder who… Well, kiss my quiver, it's Rick! Finally made the first team, huh, kid?
Caption (6): Sure enough, there's a chick with green hair. Used to be with the X-Men but I can't remember her hero name.
Caption (7): Don't know the big Indian at all. Seems tough enough but his moves are reckless. He may not last.
Caption (8): I see The Black Knight made the cut. New team can't be so great if he…
Caption (9): Jesus!
Caption (10): These are the Avengers? They fight without mercy or any regard for the innocent. Who would have trained them to…
Caption (11): She's here. This attack has her name all over it. Where…?
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:13:12 GMT -5
Page 14
Panel 1: Upshot. Hawkeye and other bystanders, some pointing at the sky, look overhead as the former Black Widow rockets past in a subtly feminized version of Iron Man's armor.
Caption (1): Hello, Natasha.
Caption (2): Look at you. Iron Woman, no less.
Panel 2: Big ol' action panel. Iron Woman decks Rhino. Blood and teeth spew from his mouth. Thunderbird, rattled by the earlier collision, lies sprawled at their feet.
Caption (3): Ooh, nice punch!
Panels 3-5 form a triptych of images with a continuous background. Reverse angle of the street scene. In the distant background, a crowd of rubberneckers watch the doin's.
Panel 3: In the foreground, Iron Woman stretches the kinks out, one foot victoriously planted atop Rhino's unconscious bulk. The Black Knight touches down at panel left.
Caption (4): Do you ever think of me, babe? Are there any fond memories of our time together?
Black Knight (5): Way to bag a Rhino, boss.
Iron Woman (6): The big tub of guts! I think I dislocated my shoulder.
Iron Woman (7): It's at times like this I miss Thor most.
Panel 4: Walking towards them from midground are Swordsman and Thunderbird, dragging Klaw behind them by the arms. Polaris lands ahead of them, holding Klaw's blaster suspended in a magnetic field.
Caption (8): Or will you hunt me down without a second's hesitation, like you did these poor slobs?
Swordsman (9): Who needs him? We do all right.
T-bird (10): What we? You haven't counted coup in weeks.
Polaris (11): Knock it off, Thunderbird. Swordsman does his share.
Panel 5: In the foreground at panel left, Falcon touches down. In the background, Goliath hunches over the body of Solarr where it lays partially buried beneath a heap of car parts.
Caption (12): Better for both of us we don't find out.
Falcon (13): I notified S.W.O.R.D., Tasha. There's a clean-up crew on its way.
Goliath (14, small): Hey, uh, guys?
Goliath (15, small): I think Solarr's dead.
Panel 6: A panoramic longshot of a Greyhound hoverbus rolling down the California coast via two-lane highway. It is dawn, the first rays of the sun glinting on the waves of the Pacific.
Caption (16): South to Bakersfield. According to the Tinkerer, I'm supposed to hook up with a trucker there. He'll take me as far as Philadelphia.
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Post by Cei-U! on May 4, 2016 21:13:47 GMT -5
Mord tomorrow, as time permits.
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Post by Roquefort Raider on May 5, 2016 5:01:42 GMT -5
You totally anticipated Natasha wearing an Iron Man armour! Take that, Ultimates II !  |
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 8:43:02 GMT -5
Mord tomorrow, as time permits. I was reading this offline earlier today and I just wanted to say this - I loved it very much and you did a great job of laying it all out and it's so descriptive ... I would love to read more and I can be very patience about it. This is so cool and it's so narrative!  Nice Job Kurt! |
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