Master of Kung Fu #101, recently reviewed by codystarbuck in his excellent
MoKF thread.
Let's do this as a Ryan George pitch meeting.
Editor : So you've got a Master of Kung Fu script for me?
Writer: Yes sir I do!
Writer: So we're picking up from the previous issue in which Leiko Wu was stabbed by Jack the ripper.
Editor: Oh no!
Writer: Don't worry, she's fine now and in the hospital. Coincidentally, in the same hospital is the old man from the classic "Smoke, beads and blood" story, the one who had briefly acted as a father figure to Shang-Chi but who had betrayed him.
Editor: Coincidences are tight!
Writer: So as Shang-Chi leaves Leiko to rest, he notices two members of the hospital staff wearing masks.
Editor: Is that because of the covid-19 epidemic?
Writer: No, that story is set during the '80s.
Editor: Ooooh very suspicious!
Writer: Yes sir. So Shang-Chi follows them, and stops them from killing the old man with a pillow!
Editor: Probably not real staff members, then.
Writer: No sir, they're not. So Shang-Chi beats them up and discovers that the intended victim is the old man. They start a long discussion in which the old man explains that he's been a drug peddler all his life and that he now realizes he's wasted it all. He had wanted to atone, but before he could do anything, upset Yakuza had decided to have him shot. The old man asks Shang-Chi to go beat the Yakuza some more before they come back to finish him.
Editor: A sensible request! But that's an awfully long discussion... Aren't the old man and Sang-Chi interrupted by members of the hospital staff coming to see what's going on?
Writer: No, sir, they're left alone until the police arrives.
Editor: Not a very responsive staff!
Writer: So Shang-Chi refuses, saying the old man has made his bed and must now lie in it. Then we have an ominous scene in which the old man plays with some wires connecting him to a huge machine we assume is keeping him alive.
Editor: Oh, foreboding! I suppose those wires will play a role later on as the old man decides to end his own life?
Writer: Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Editor: But if the old man's life depends on those wires, why didn't the Yakuza just unplug him instead of trying to smother him with a pillow?
Writer: I don't
know!
Editor: Fair enough.
Writer: Anyway, Shang-Chi changes his mind and makes it to the docks where the Yakuza hold their criminal transactions, and he takes on their gang all on his own.
Editor: I suppose that's gonna be a brutal and prolonged fight scene, and that Shang-Chi will have a hard time beating them all!
Writer: Actually it's gonna be super-easy; barely an inconvenience! The bad guys' leader is beaten off-page and the others run away.
Editor: What?
Writer: But those running Yakuza are actually on their way back to the hospital to kill the old man, and they're going to do it using Japanese swords instead of guns or pillows, because it's more traditional.
Editor: Why would they want to make his death traditional considering that the old man is neither a Yakuza nor even Japanese?
Writer: Unclear!
Writer: So Shang-Chi causes the Yakuza's car to crash, and they continue on foot toward the hospital. At some point they have something like a 30 seconds lead on him and are in the process of crossing a bridge, and Chi decides that it would take too long to chase them on foot so he decides to plunge into the river and swim across.
Editor: Isn't running a much faster way to travel than swimming?
Writer: I don't
know!
Editor: I'm pretty sure it is.
Writer: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to get all the way off my back about that.
Editor: Well O.K. then.
Writer: So then Shang-Chi manages to get ahead of the Yakuza (twice) and although he manages to ambush them on two occasions, one reaches the hospital. There he and Chi fight with swords almost in front of the old man's room.
Editor: The hospital still doesn't have much by way of security, I take it?
Writer: No, sir, it still doesn't. So the old man hears the sound of the fight and despairs that Shang-Chi has abandoned him and he's going to die.
Editor: Wait, if he hears the sound of fighting, doesn't it mean that someone is trying to stop the Yakuza and that it's likely to be Shang-Chi?
Writer: Whoops!
Editor: Whoopsie!
Writer:So Leiko hears the sound of fighting too, and despite being extremely weak she gets out of bed to go protect the old man.
Editor: How does she know what his room number is?
Writer: Unclear!
Editor: Fair enough. But seeing Chi fight the Yakuza, why doesn't she help with that or call for help instead of going to the old man's room?
Writer: Because if we do that we won't get the poignant conclusion that I'm aiming for.
Editor: Oh, poignant endings are tight!
Writer: So Leiko sees the old man on the point of unplugging himself and begs him not to do it, but he does anyway.
Editor: Wouldn't telling him that Shang-Chi was there and that all would be well have been a good argument?
Writer: Yeah, but she's not going to say that.
Editor: Why not?
Writer: Because!
Editor: Well O.K. then. So what happens next?
Writer: Next the old man unplugs himself and instantly dies.
Editor: So was this machine, like, a ventilator or an artificial heart or something?
Writer: No, it looks like a big monitor and the old man is not on a ventilator.
Editor: Can't Leiko replug him?
Writer: No, that's against the rules; when you die tragically because of a misunderstanding so that the hero can feel remorse at the end, you are forced to stay dead.
Editor: Well O.K. then.
Writer: And that's the end. Chi finishes the Yakuza, goes into the room, finds the old man dead and Leiko lies about him dying naturally of heart failure. And
then she plugs him back in, just to hide the real cause of his death.
Editor: Ooooh, very sneaky.
Editor: So the moral of this story is that we shouldn't despair too fast when it seems that Yakuza are about to kill us in a traditional way?
Writer: yeah, and that when someone in a hospital is clearly marked for death by the Yakuza, it would make sense to have some sort of security at their door.
Editor: True, but then Shang-Chi wouldn't have much to do, I guess.