Adventures of Superman #430

"Homeward Bound!"
writer: Marv Wolfman
art: Jerry Ordway
letters: Albert DeGuzman
colors: Tom Ziuko
editors: Mike Carlin & Andy Helfer

grade: C

At the end of the previous issue, after being confronted with an awareness that Superman was far from 100% perfect 100% of the time, Clark decided to fly home to Smallville for advice and comfort. However, in this one, Wolfman has backtracked, providing Clark with a second reminder of this fact before sending him back to Smallville in the second act for a Super pep talk.

Again, I like what Wolfman is trying to do here. While Byrne has tried to emphasize Superman's de-powering on a physical (and sometimes intellectual) level, Wolfman is having more fun providing him with real world fallibility. Last issue, he deluded himself into believing he was doing the right thing while abusing his authority as Superman for personal reasons. This time, he's finding it impossible to remain effective and responsible as both Superman and Clark Kent, losing the respect of Perry White and finding himself bested in battle a bit too easily as well.

Still, Pa's pep talk didn't do much for me. It was too easy, and didn't really offer any fresh perspective or answer that reassured me of the doubts Clark himself was facing. Superman returns to Metropolis rejuvenated and with a new-found sense of purpose, but I don't buy it. Is this going to fix his reputation as Clark Kent or keep him from ultimately getting fired? Is this going to help him reconcile his dual roles better or manage his time more effectively? It was little more than a cheer-up speech, and not a great one at that.

Beyond that, this marks the first post-Crisis appearance of the Fearsome Five, but, coming from the pages of the New Teen Titans (which, I believe, was the only major DC superhero title not to be rebooted Post-Crisis, I presume due to complexities surrounding rebooting Dick Grayson, the overwhelming former success of the title, and the fact that Marv Wolfman was heavily involved in making the call) there's a clear sense that this is a team with a long continuity, referring to previous members that appeared pre-Crisis. This team has not been rebooted, and, if I can trust Wikipedia on this, it doesn't appear again after this until Outsiders #6 in 2004.

Finally, Wolfman makes a clear effort to maintain a sense of co-existence amongst the Superman titles in this issue, even while each is now functioning largely independently from one another, when he has Superman recap his busy week, depicting the events of Action Comics #589 as having happened on Tuesday (but wait, Action #589 immediately followed the events of #588,m yet we saw no Thanagarians mentioned on Monday...), the events of Superman #7 as having happened on Thursday, and even going so far as to suggest something equally big occurred on Friday ("And you don't even want to know what happened on Friday,") giving the sense that, far from being excessive, three monthly titles for following The Man of Tomorrow isn't even enough to capture it all. A cute little gesture, Marv.

All in all, as usual, I didn't love this issue, but I respected the ideas behind it. Wolfman never feels like a complete writer to me, but he's a fantastic character-centered idea man in need of a George Perez to round his ideas out into something a little more interesting.


Minor Details:

- Why is the cop on page 5 so surprised that Superman got defeated? Apparently, he hasn't been noticing that Supes gets his butt handed to him in just about every one of these post-Crisis adventures.

- A little numbers checking. It's Ma and Pa Kent's 48th anniversary. They found Clark 28 years prior to the current date of this issue, meaning they'd already been married for 20 years when they found him. Let's assume they got married young (as was more common in rural areas in the first half of the 20th century) -- say 16 to 18 years old at the time. That puts them in their late 30s when they find Clark, so the idea that they led everyone to believe Martha was Clark's birth mother is a little atypical, but certainly possible. It also explains why, in the current day, they appear elderly but still fully physically independent, as they should now be in their mid 60s.

- Why doesn't Clark just freelance as a reporter if he has no plan for how to keep his assignment commitments? How can he responsibly accept an assignment to interview the president on a certain date, fully aware there's a significant chance that he won't show? How would that make The Daily Planet look???

- Why do we keep getting so many D-list villains in these titles when Superman has a perfectly good rogues gallery that we're not making use of? Where's Brainiac, Toyman, the REAL Bizarro, etc? Maybe it's the desire to provide a believable explanation for where all these super villains come from. Byrne has given up on trying to show that all his villains come from Luther, but Wolfman is still trying to tie everything back to The Circle. I wonder how long he's going to keep that going for. It's certainly more intriguing and a bit more respectful to our intelligence than all the random circumstances that keep providing Byrne with antagonists.

- What is Wolfman trying to do with Lana Lang? Why feature her so heavily at the end of this issue as someone without her own life who's just there to help out on a moment's notice? Is he trying to build a second supporting cast for Clark in Smallvile (perhaps explaining his need to have Clark address "Dave" by name every other dialogue bubble so that we'd get to know the guy)? Ma, Pa, Lana, and "Dave"...Yeah, not a cast of characters I can see myself getting attached to.

- No Lois Lane in this issue. Especially odd since her reaction to Clark missing so many deadlines would seem critical here. Is Wolfman forbidden from using Lois in the same way that he's been totally hands off with Luther since the first issue?


Plot synopsis in one ridiculously long sentence:

Superman is fighting the Fearsome Five (complete with two new members), we learn that Clark has been missing many of his assignments due to Superman emergencies and that his reputation at the Planet is hurting as a result, the Fearsome Five are fighting amongst themselves as the new members want to kill Superman while the originals do not want to commit murder, Clark plans his parents' anniversary party but fails to attend when the Fearsome Five attack again, he finally gets there after the party and gets a pep talk from Pa Kent, he flies back to Metropolis with a newfound sense of purpose and kicks the Five's butts, also figuring out that the two new members are working for someone else, and this proves to be The Circle working behind the scenes once again, Superman defeats them all, and Clark gets the exclusive story, suggesting that things just might work out after all.

Superman #8

"Future Shock"
writer/pencils: John Byrne
inks: Karl Kesel
colors: Tom Ziuko
letters: John Costanza
editors: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer
dedicated to the memory of Edmund Hamilton

grade: B

A pretty fun issue in which Byrne seems intent on accomplishing three things:

1. Giving new readers an introduction to the classic Legion
2. Clearing up some mysteries about how the Crisis has impacted post-Crisis continuity
3. Establishing interest in Cosmic Boy and the Legion in the post-Crisis continuity

Most importantly, with so much information to cover in 21 pages, we get a nice break from D-list villains, Superman being an idiot, getting his butt kicked, and/or getting uncomfortably interested in other women, and just about everything else Byrne usually does wrong. Even without having read Cosmic Boy, the Legion story this continues from, nor really ANY Legion story after Jim Shooter's time, this was a fun story that was pretty easy to follow, and it left us with questions that truly make me want to read the next Superman installment.


Important Details:

- This story continues in this month's Action Comics, but skips over this month's Adventures of Superman issue. Wolfman and Byrne really are working totally independent of each other at this point, aren't they? Feels a bit like mom and dad sleeping in separate beds. Anyone know if there was a story behind this? I can infer from all that we've seen that Byrne had near total control of the franchise (including its handling of Luther and Lois, neither of which are ever featured in Wolfman's stories even though Wolfman was responsible for the post-Crisis Luther's characterization), and that there is tension or at least an "agree to disagree" energy between the two, causing them to work entirely independently whereas they initially seemed to be collaborating extensively.

- Superman doesn't get hungry.

- Superman's super hearing extends at least to the size of Smallville, as he's able to hear something (though we're not quite sure what he heard the Legion doing) all the way "on the other side of Smallville."

- Confirmed that the Superman of this universe is de-powered when compared to the Pre-Crisis Earth One version. Thus, Superboy is much stronger than him.

- Confirmed that Ma and Pa Kent were significantly older in Pre-Crisis Earth One.

- Confirmed that Superman recalls the Crisis, the red skies, and meeting Superboy Prime. Of course, this still poses the problem that he didn't appear to remember being friends with Wonder Woman in the numerous instances in which he thought about her in previous issues.


Minor Details:

- As if Byrne didn't have Clark chasing enough tail and being enough of an idiot, this issue opens with him positively teasing Lana Lang, doing gruntwork for her with his shirt off (actually clutching a giant tree trunk between his legs in that opening panel) when he should know how lovesick she is for him after Man of Steel #6. And let's be clear -- Clark has no reason to take his shirt off. Pulling a tree out of the ground shouldn't take much effort for him.

- Clark claims his glasses are a hand-me-down from Pa Kent, and implies he's been wearing the same pair all along, but we've seen him lose his glasses or get them destroyed at least twice already (most recently in Superman #5). And, if the glasses he's wearing are someone's prescription glasses, wouldn't he have to change the lenses, or is he just constantly using his X-Ray vision through the prescription lenses? Once again, Byrne tries to explain an aspect of Superman and just makes it more complicated.

- It's a little disturbing when Byrne has Superman refer to the Invisible Kid as "The black kid." Yikes.


Plot synopsis in one ridiculously long sentence:

Clark is in Smallvile, helping Lana fix up her house and picnicking with his parents when the Earth One Legion of Superheroes show up in Smallville, Superman loses control over his heat vision and accidentally fires on them, they fight back, they ultimately decide they are on the same side, the Legion explains who they are and that they are from a different reality with a different Superman/boy, we get a recap of how Superboy met the Legion, as well as a brief recap of what's been happening in the Cosmic Boy and Legion titles, both Superman and the Legion appear to recall elements of the Crisis, and Superboy shows up, explaining that he must reluctantly kill the Legion members.

Action Comics #591

"Past Imperfect"
writer/pencils: John Byrne
inks: John Byrnes & Keith Williams
letters: John Costanza
colors: Tom Ziuko
editors: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer
Superman and Superboy created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

grade: B

In the end, it seems that the true purpose of this two parter was to complete John Byrne's reinvention of Superman while also allowing the Legion of Superheroes to remain a viable DC property. So the following occurs in this issue:

1. We learn that the Legion of Superheroes has come through the Crisis the same as any other Earth One DC franchise -- they are in the future of the regular Post-Crisis DCU. Yet they have held onto their Pre-Crisis legacy and are also still the team that was once led by Superboy due to #2...

2. We also learn (and this gets fuzzier) that the Legion's Superboy was NEVER the Superboy of Earth One, but rather a manipulated product of the Time Trapper's "Pocket Universe". Each time the Legion went back in time, they were going to the Pocket Universe. Therefore, the Post-Crisis Legion could still be led by Superboy up until this point, even though the Superman of the Post-Crisis era was never Superboy.

Of course, the regular Pre-Crisis Superboy and Superman titles made regular reference to his adventures with the Legion, and those didn't occur in the Pocket Universe, so that throws this whole idea into chaos. Perhaps the Time Trapper only thinks he was around since before the Crisis, and his "Pocket Universe" has only existed since that time??

3. Finally, The Pocket Universe Krypto needlessly (and entirely illogically) subjects himself to Gold Kryptonite in this issue, thus reverting into a normal dog, and (as dupersuper has now informed me) Superboy is going to bite the big one in the Legion's next issue, so the chalkboard is wiped free. The Legion continues, Superboy and Krypto DID team up with them, but those characters and their universe have been neatly removed. Byrne wins.

That being said, this wasn't a bad issue. Byrne drawing Krypto's face like a rat/rabbit aside, I liked Superman meeting the Pre-Crisis/Pocket Universe Ma and Pa Kent, as well as his reconciliatory hug with the Pre-Crisis/Pocket Universe Superboy. It's at least as moving as I've seen Byrne's work get thus far, though it's certainly not tear-worthy content.

Nothing else I found particularly note-worthy about this issue. Just a relatively good story that accomplished what Byrne and DC needed it to. Granted, without knowing the fine details of the plot (explained in the Legion issues) it's a lot easier to not be critical of Byrne's plotting. I wonder if Superboy's being able to change his mind so easily makes any sense if you actually know what the Time Trapper has done to control him (I don't).


Plot synopsis in one sentence:

Superman pursues Superboy back to his own reality, we learn that Superboy's Earth is an artificially created "Pocket Reality" manipulated by the Time Trapper in order to shape Superboy into the instrument of his final victory, Superman talks Superboy out of helping the Time Trapper after Krypto needlessly sacrifices himself to become a normal dog, and Superboy and the Legion go off to fight the final battle against the Time Trapper.

Superman #9

"To Laugh and DIE in Metropolis"
writer and pencils: John Byrne
inks: Karl Kesel
letters: John Costanza
colors: Tom Ziuko
editors: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer

grade: F-

If John Byrne had been standing next to me while I read this issue, I would have punched him. I've seen the ego before, and I've seen the laziness, but this one just took the cake for oh so many reasons.


1. You conceited little sh*t:

So the basic premise is that the Joker, Batman's most dangerous and popular villain, comes to Metropolis to test out Superman's skills, only to discover Superman can stop him faster and more efficiently than Batman. So the entire point was to borrow Batman's best villain in order to make Superman look like a better hero than Batman in comparison???


2. The tyrant is a hypocrite:

Okay, so once again, Byrne has completely revamped the Superman franchise and removed long-time fans' favorite aspects of the series in order to make Superman more realistic, and yet we've got Joker building robotic doubles of Superman complete with thermonuclear centers on the fly as a means of seeking a nemesis that he believes will be less challenging than Batman. You've got to be kidding me.


3. Pay attention to your own damn rules:

We've been told, over and over, that this Superman is depowered, and we've seen him nearly get killed from super-powered punches, electrical shocks, and giant tanks, yet he's still standing after being at ground zero of a thermonuclear detonation???


And then there are the minor little annoyances, like:

- There's absolutely no lead in any buildings in Metropolis, allowing Superman to easily spot the three lead coffins in contrast? How about even a little lead based paint???

- Why in the world would the Joker know that Perry White and Jimmy Olsen are important to Superman?

- Love the little overt falling action with Superman conveniently explaining everything for an inquisitive Perry White. I know 7th graders who write with more subtlety.


So, if you couldn't tell by my uncharacteristically aggressive tone, this issue truly pissed me off. Byrne needs a good smacking, but it's Wolfman who will be leaving in only a few more months, while we're stuck with Byrne for another frickin' year or so.


Important details:

- Captain Sawyers' Special Crimes Unit is devoted specifically to super villains

- Toby Raynes, a rival reporter from the Metropolis Star (nice reference to early Pre-Crisis continuity) makes her first appearance here. Will she or the Star be mentioned ever again?

- Lex Luthor is back in the picture and working on something called Project Overload. Presumably, the robot drone that abducted Lana Lang, and Ma Kent's scrapbook being sent to Clark Kent at the Daily Planet are both parts of this plan.


I suppose I should also discuss Lex Luthor's "Indecent Proposal" subplot in this issue, in which he toys with a small town waitress's mind by offering her a million dollars to be his whore for a month and then drives off, content that she'll torment herself over which decision she would have made for the rest of her life.

Yeah, I should mention it, but it was dumb. Byrne has always been too over-the-top with Luthor, and depicting him as deriving joy from tormenting innocent people is just too much for me. No villain is THAT evil, and no villain portrayed as being THAT evil is even remotely interesting to me because he's too simple. The greatest villains are the ones we have complex feelings about: Galactus, Doctor Doom, Magneto, even the Joker -- they compel us because they aren't variations on the scoundrel with the black mustache. But, sure enough, after ruining everything else in this issue as well, Byrne just had to piss all over Wolfman's Lex Luther concept at the end of this issue.


Plot synopsis in one ridiculously long sentence:

The Joker creates a robot double of Superman to steal jewelry, kidnaps Lois, Perry, and Jimmy and assumes Superman will be too stupid to see through his ploy, explains that his motivation is to take a vacation by taking on a nemesis who is easier to defeat than Batman, gets schooled by Superman, Lana Lang gets abducted by a robotic drone, and Lex Luther messes with the feelings of a small town waitress as a means of getting his kicks.

Yeah, every copy of this issue needs to be tracked down and burnt to a crisp.

Action Comics #592

"...A Walk on the Darkside!"
writer/pencils: John Byrne
inks: John Byrne & Keith Williams
letters: John Costanza
colors: Tom Ziuko
editors: Michael Carlin & Andrew Helfer

grade: F-

Well, at least this issue was better than the last one. I mean, it's not like Byrne decided to piss all over other people's DC properties once again for his own sick sense of amusement.

Oh wait. He did.

You see, in this issue, Byrne attempts to do a loving homage to Jack Kirby. He not only makes Big Barda a key character in this issue, but (as he had no trouble touting in the teaser provided in the previous issue) he has been practicing drawing Barda like Kirby, and it really does work. It's impressive.

And then he pisses all over the character.

Let's be clear. Big Barda gets repeatedly RAPED in this issue.

Yes, one of comicdom's strongest female characters.

Yes, by a nobody villain Byrne first introduces in this issue.

Yes, not even in her own (or at least Mr. Miracle's) title.

Yes, and without any concern for how this affects her as a character.

Truly, this seems to have been done without an ounce of thought, and certainly without an ounce of respect for the character or her fans. I'm truly outraged by this. I can't even begin to imagine what Byrne is going to do in the infamous issue #593 to top this (and I'm afraid to try).

This man needs to be beaten...badly.


Important details:

-First appearance and origin of Sleez

- Metropolis has a population of approximately 10 million

- Suicide Slum has a population of approximately 5,000.


Minor Details:

- Andy Helfer is back once again. What's going on with that?

- Clark indicates that he tried to clean up Suicide Slum when he first got to Metropolis, but in what capacity? He wasn't yet Superman, and he wasn't yet a reporter.

- What the heck is the point of the doctor showing him the clinic other than to get Clark to his next plot point of wondering about why those old people aren't dying? It seems like the doctor is trying to get Clark to write a human-interest piece about the turmoil of Suicide Slum, but he shows Clark two beds, explains the aging mystery, and then happily says goodbye to Clark.

- The title of this story is quite misleading, as Darkseid's only role is a brief cameo in Sleez's flashback.

- Of course, any good slum has a black pimp in a trenchcoat, fedora, and sunglasses, featured prominently while threatening to slice a prostitute in broad daylight in front of everyone.

- Barda wouldn't notice a two bit thug sneaking up behind her to snatch her purse?

- How convenient the thug just happened to run into a renegade from the same planet from the far reaches of space that Barda came from.

- Hmmmm. Wolfman writes a story heavily focused on Suicide Slum -- Byrne writes a story heavily featuring Suicide Slum in the same month. I'm pretty sure this is the third time we've seen Byrne coincidentally have aspects of his stories heavily resemble something Wolfman had done in the same month.

- Darkseid's Omega Beams can accidentally transport a person to Earth instead of killing them??


Plot synopsis in one long sentence:

Barda shows up in suicide slum, gets her purse snatched (with her Mega Rod inside of it), the purse snatcher runs into the sewers and is killed by Sleez, a refuge from Apokolips, Sleez uses the weapon to mentally control and repeatedly rape Barda, Clark visits a clinic in Suicide Slum and discovers that some are being kept alive well beyond life expectancy by an odd kind of radiation, he traces the radiation's source to (presumably) Barda's Mega Rod, he runs in to Barda, breaks Barda's trance, and tries to prevent Barda from killing Sleez for what he's done, Barda tries to kill Superman (presuming Sleez is controlling him), and Sleez traps both in a pit.


Sure enough, I will be driving to dupersuper's home immediately after posting this to burn his copy of this issue...

Superman #10

"The Super Menace of Metropolis"
writer/pencils: John Byrne
inks: Karl Kesel
colors: Tom Ziuko
letters: John Costanza
editor: Michael Carlin
Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

grade: C


So is Andy Helfer gone or not? Perhaps he'd only gotten half the issues done for this month before walking out or being shown the door?

Anyway, Luthor's Project Overload proves to be a disappointment this issue. Whereas all the mysteries created at the end of the last issue seemed to be tied to this initiative, none of them were. Lana Lang's abduction appears to be tied to the upcoming Millenium crossover (as indicated in the letter column), and though Luthor should have been the last person in possession of Ma Kent's scrapbook, he's apparently not the one who sent it to Clark. Maybe it was Amanda, the assistant who determined that Clark Kent was Superman in Superman #2 and was then dismissed by Luthor for coming up with such a ludicrous idea.

So instead, this is an issue in which Superman's powers overload, he's perceived as a public enemy (too easy and contrived a concept that isn't handled particularly well), and Luthor never really bothers to plan this thing out that well, getting caught quite easily and being dragged to police headquarters a second time (which he swore in MoS #4 would never happen). Again, Byrne just doesn't use him well.

I should also point out that part of this plan required Luthor putting a new satellite into space 4 weeks earlier. Further suggestion that Superman keeping a laboratory containing all of his secrets in orbit of the Earth does not place it out of reach for Luthor. But, again, Byrne seems to have forgotten all about this even though it happened in his premiere issue.


Important details:

- Though implied in Byrne's pencils on previous issues, it's now stated that Superman's heat ray vision is invisible unless turned to maximum power. Makes sense, though it also makes for less dramatic imagery.

- Alice, the Daily Planet assistant, makes a return cameo in this issue and is disregarded by Clark once again. I can't decide if Byrne is planning to go somewhere with this or if it's just a silly inside joke, teasing someone at the DC offices.

- First mention of Captain Sawyer's divorce, her ex-husband, Jim, and her nine year old daughter, Jamie.

- Ben Friendly, of the FBI, is mentioned by Captain Sawyer in this issue as if that's someone we should know. Is it?

- First appearance of Klaash, though, like virtually every antagonist introduced by Byrne this far, established or new, he blows through it in one issue and doesn't leave us any reason to believe it will ever come back.


Minor details:

- We knew it was coming, but did Byrne REALLY have to remind us that Clark's X-Ray vision gives him the ability to see everyone naked?

- Cat's son, Adam, briefly appears in this issue, creating a nice tie-in with what Wolfman is doing over at Adventures of Superman. This is the first time Byrne has ever acknowledged that continuity in any way.

- However, on a somewhat problematic note, he also dates Superman #7 as having happened 9 days earlier. That means 11 subsequent Superman stories occurred over the course of 9 days. I suppose we can discount Adventures #432 and Action #592 since they are both part ones of multi-part story lines that have yet to conclude, so that would mean each other Superman story published over the past two months occurred once per day over the course of nine days. Possible, I suppose. Wolfman, himself, suggested in an earlier issue of Adventures that Superman fights a major menace about once per day. Kind of hard to believe that much goes wrong that often, though. How did Metropolis survive before Clark showed up with that kind of a schedule??

- What's with the plug for Swamp Thing on page 7?

- This is now the second time a villain equipped by Luthor has made use of teleportation technology. I'm impressed to see Byrne remaining consistent here.


Plot synopsis in one long sentence:

Superman's powers keep overloading without warning (as was previously hinted at in Superman #8), he tries to fly away from Metropolis to protect innocents when Klaash, a new armored nemesis appears and attempts to draw him back to the city, Superman is perceived as a hostile threat to the city and can't figure out why, Luthor is controlling Klaash by remote, Superman figures out that no one can see Klaash but him, he realizes Luthor is controlling Klaash, he drags Luthor to Captain Sawyers, but Luthor's lawyer shows up and makes it impossible to convict him, and Luthor makes plans to crush Captain Sawyer (this will presumably involve her nine year old daughter, first mentioned in this issue).

Action Comics #593

(The one you've ALL been waiting for...)

writer/pencils: John Byrne
inks: John Byrne & Keith Williams
letters: John Costanza
colors: Tom Ziuko
editor: Michael Carlin
Superman created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster
Mister Miracle created by Jack Kirby

grade: F-

I'd like to pretend I was surprised by this one, flip out in response, and post an angry reply in all caps that would make you die of laughter, but really, there wasn't all that much surprising about Byrne descending to this depth. It's just sad is all.

My mind goes back to the story we keep hearing about how it was Byrne's childhood dream to write Superman. When you think of all that's wrong with this comic, the non-sensical real-world explanations of how his powers work, the obsession with Superman only being able to mate with super powered women ("any co-star's gonna wind up looking like my DESK!" -- Grossman, commenting on the problem in this issue), the simplistic emotional conflicts, the need to point out that Superman can use his X-Ray vision to see people naked (Superman #10), and now this issue, in which Superman and Barda are brainwashed into starring in home-made pornos, it ALL feels like a 10 year old conceived of it.

I don't say this to mock Byrne, mind you. Every now and then, even in my mid 30s, I find a belief I've held since childhood challenged and suddenly realize how irrational and immature it was. For some reason, we hold onto certain attitudes and ideas from our childhood, believing in them the way that we did when we were 8, until they are confronted by reality and we are therefore forced to challenge them. I suspect Byrne's ideas for Superman work in much the same way. I think he considered how he would handle Superman extensively as a child and, now, as an adult, he either hasn't bothered to re-examine these concepts, or he suspects everyone else out there is thinking the same things he did as a 10 year old.

Either way, it's pretty much the worst thing ever.

What truly does confuse me, though, isn't why Byrne would write this story, but rather how in the world it got published. I suppose I can accept the idea that Carlin has no actual power over a "superstar" like Byrne (and perhaps this is even why Andy Helfer left the Superman office at this time), but where the heck was the Comics Code on this one, and how did Byrne manage to stay on the book afterwards? His run was being watched by many, and I have to believe there was a blowback reaction from readers and parents, so Jennette Kahn and Warner Brothers were perfectly okay with this? Warner's going to have a coronary a year from now when O'Neil authorizes the death of Jason Todd; is America's most cherished symbol of goodness after Jesus Christ enacting a homemade porno on a bed in a sleazy backroom that much more tolerable for the brand? KIDS were grabbing these comics off the stands!!!

Something is very wrong for the comic industry to have let this one through. I am generally not a fan of the Comics Code, but here's a time where it was actually needed to protect young, impressionable readers from pure smut for the sake of pure smut, and they missed the boat. It seems that as long as Byrne could avoid depicting racy visuals (we never see the video that Scott and Oberon view, and Barda's clothing on page 8 isn't much worse than a bikini) and expletives, things got rubber stamped.

Anyway, beyond the horror of watching Superman and Barda enact a homemade porno in a sleazy backroom while under the influence of Sleeze, there are a multitude of minor problems with this story (far more than usual):

1. Darkseid is not some classy mobster who is sitting in your favorite armchair, sipping wine, when you come home from work. He is the frickin' demigod lord of Apokilyps. I'm sure it made Byrne giddy to draw this panel, but it's inauthentic to the character.

2. If these Action Comics guest appearances are supposed to function as advertisements for other DC properties, Byrne couldn't have failed worse here. He spends way too much time giving us an unnecessarily in-depth retelling of Mister Miracle's origin only to completely avoid giving readers ANY sense of what to expect in his comic book. So Scott came to Earth and "it's been one adventure after another ever since," but in what way? Does he fight crime, is he trying to thwart Darkseid's efforts to do...something, is Darkseid just showing up in his living room each month with a new way to torment him? We have no idea. In fact, we don't even understand why he's returning to his normal looking suburban home in full costume. And, as for characterization, we receive absolutely none for either him or Barda. Byrne truly gives us nothing to latch onto with either character beyond their origin story.

3. So what was in the video Darkseid showed to Scott? I'm assuming it wasn't a nude or sex scene, or his reaction would have been stronger. Assuming this is one of Grossman's homemade pornos, wouldn't it have been obvious at any given moment what the nature of the video was? And yet, Scott doesn't seem to suspect this much until far later in the story.

4. In the video, Scott recognizes that Barda appears to be in a sewer, but she's not. We learn later in this issue that the scenes are filmed in a backroom of Grossman's "studio." Perhaps this was an earlier first video that Sleaze recorded while still keeping Barda in that sewer area, but that could probably be better explained.

5. WHY is Sleaze filming a porno of Superman and Barda and selling it to Grossman, anyway? Does he actually require money that he can't acquire with his hypnotic powers? Is it because he's supposed to be an embodiment of our society's worst perversions, which would inevitably include such a business? Again, I can fill in the gaps myself, but I shouldn't have to. Still, what was his end-goal? Did he really expect to keep doing this without being stopped and without retribution?

6. Damnit. Did the creep Sleaze is working through have to have a Jewish last name and be drawn in such a stereotypical New York Jew manner, with the beard, thick glasses, and balding head? It's just as bad as the stereotypical black pimp Byrne featured so prominently in the beginning of the previous issue.

7. Okay, so Sleaze explains that his powers work like hypnosis, and thus he can't make someone do something they really don't want to. How the hell do you explain Superman allowing Sleaze to use him in any manner, then, including intimidating Grossman?

8. I'm sure Byrne thinks this was amusing, but I find it utterly absurd that Sleaze's minions' method of disposing of Mister Miracle so thoroughly resembles an escape act. Wouldn't it make more sense to just shoot and stab the dude once you have him in the sack? And the explanation for his escape that he offers comes so quickly and without any images to accompany it. It feels like a wasted punchline to a joke with an excessively lengthy setup.

9. So, if Sleaze cannot make Superman and Barda do anything against their will, even struggling to get them to kiss, then why is Byrne implying at the end that they slept together?

10. I'm assuming, since it's implied that several videos have already been made with Barda prior to Superman entering the picture, since the hypnosis cannot make Barda do something she doesn't want to do, since Sleaze is only worried that Superman is resisting him (no concern for Barda), and since we know this was already occurring in the previous issue, that all the previous videos involved Barda being raped. Of course, sitting on a bed and waiting for it to happen after being raped excessively would certainly also qualify as doing something you don't want to do.

11. So if Sleaze is a reflection of the depravity all around him, how was he like this back on Apokilypse, surrounded by downtrodden slaves and mindless minions? Was he supposed to be a reflection of Darkseid's depravity? I just don't see it.

12. Where the heck did that Ash Crawler come from on page 17? No joke; I actually laughed out loud when this thing came flying out from nowhere.

13. So explosive sewer gas has the same effect on Superman as the nuclear explosion he experienced while at ground zero in Superman #9? He looks equally damaged both times. And I guess his aura of invulnerability does not protect his hair?

14. Why can't Superman explain his motives for preventing Barda from killing Sleaze? And why wasn't his primary motive "I don't condone murder?"

15. I'm sorry -- what was that ending all about? So Sleaze wasn't causing those old people to keep living? Are we supposed to therefore understand what was, or is this some cliffhanger mystery that will be resolved later on? Is this some saccharine message about how the human spirit prevails in spite of the presence of depravity? Are we supposed to infer that Sleaze is actually still alive and hanging around? I absolutely don't get it.


Important details:

- Superman has super smell.


Plot synopsis:

Do you really want this?

Okay.

Mister Miracle returns to his home and finds Darkseid there, Darkseid shows him some sort of video with Barda being held captive in a sewer, Sleaze has been bringing Barda to a small-time homemade porno producer named Grossman, he brings Superman this time and wants the two filmed together, Superman (and presumably Barda) are resisting his telepathic influence, we get an excessive recap of Mister Miracle's origin, he is abducted by Sleaze's minions in an excessively elaborate style and escapes, he breaks into Grossman's studio and breaks Sleaze's influence, Sleaze presumably kills himself by igniting sewer gas while Superman pursues him, it's implied that Superman and Barda were intimate, but their memories are foggy and Barda makes it clear that it should remain forgotten, and Superman discovers the elderly patients from last issue are still alive even after Sleaze appeared to die.