That sounds like a binge eating disorder, which is no joke, have you tried discussing with a dietician? You might have some kindred spirits in this thread but if you keep having relapses you need a change of plan. And a serious one too.

Although I'm really not one to lecture. . .

I really think your going Spartan is what is causing the binging.  You simply aren't getting enough food and it's causing you to over-swing . . you feeling like you are drowning is a big red flag.

go buy a LOT of fruit (I've been doing Pineapple, Canteloupe, Honeydew, Watermellon, and Grapes - and then combining in big ziplock bags fruit salads that I can snack on a few pieces at a time), and hard boil a bunch of eggs (great protein and low fat).

start your morning with some fruit to get you going, and try to eat something every two hours or so.  Even if just fruit, or a large salad w/ the egg sliced into it.  

also drink a LOT of water.

I've found that using these tools, it's kept me "full" and I can avoid the desire to binge.  

maybe it will work for you?

Yeah, you said it. It's really hard to lose weight because you body rebels and then your mind rebels. But you're the model for taking a long time to get to your goal.  You will reach your goals, shax.

Hmm. You may have been onto something there, guys... let me tell you about my day (this is going to be long, but I kind of need to get this off my chest)

Rained overnight, but stopped by the time I was heading into work. After about 10 minutes, I was getting overheated, so stopped to remove my gloves - unclipped my left shoe, overbalanced to the right. Don't worry, my bike wasn't damaged - fortunately I broke its fall with my hip, knee and elbow. Anyway, after that, I picked myself up, got back about and I went to set off, and was pretty surprised to completely wheel-spin my rear wheel. Didn't think much of that until I'd got some speed up when my back wheel started jittering all over the place. A couple of hair-raising corners later, I stopped again and checked the wheel, thinking I'd damaged something. Nothing obvious to be found, so I get back on and headed on towards word, very carefully, still getting an occasional jitter from the rear wheel until I rode through some grit which seemed to sort out the handling. No idea what caused it, maybe water maybe some oil on the tyre.

Anyway, so far so good. On the way home, everything seemed to be going OK, and I was in any case going pretty slowly due to the weight of traffic. I was very hot again, so I stopped part way and removed my leg warmers, carrying on in shorts. I got to about 2/3 of the way home - on that part of my route, there are 3 climbs, each steeper than the last, then leading into a long, straight downhill section nearly a mile long, which I normally tank down at over 30mph. On this occasion, with the road wet and lots of traffic, I decided to take it easy.

I hit the hill and took up position in the middle of one of the two lanes, to avoid being crowded by cars - well ahead down the hill I could see a large queue of mostly stationary traffic. I started to pick up speed, and then got hit by a strong cross-wind, at which point I started to get blown all over the place; not enjoying that at all, so started to brake, at which point I entered a long series of skids - every time I touched the brake, that wheel would aquaplane, so I ended up doing about quarter of a mile of veering S-shaped skids down the hill as alternately my front and back wheels, and occasionally both, lost grip on the wet road. I was (British understatement coming...) slightly alarmed at this turn of events, to say the least, as I was continuing to gain speed and rapidly closing on the stationary traffic...

I managed to unclip one foot, but every attempt to get the other one free just provoked more skidding. I was between a rock and hard place on the brakes, but running into the cars at high speed seemed like a worse option than more skidding, so I gradually eased the brakes on, provoking more skids but without much effect on my speed (rim brakes + water = not much happening until the rims clear). The traffic ahead was starting to loom pretty close now, so I had to start the really grab onto the brakes, trying to balance off further skids and losing some speed.

The fact that I'm writing this now shows that I eventually managed to get it under control and got the bike down a controllable speed, but not until I was literally* within 10 feet or so of the nearest car. I've had some near misses over the years, but that was probably the most frightened I've ever been on a bike - I honestly expected to lose it several times down the hill and crash out in spectacular fashion into a long, fast slide down the hill in bare legs, which is generally not the most enjoyable way to end a ride.

All in all, not the greatest cycling day I've ever had - about the best I can say about it is that I kept the bike upright throughout, didn't hit anything and didn't experience a RIME**.

It's due to rain again tomorrow, so I'm going to give the ride a miss. At the weekend I'll have a look at my tyres and see I can establish what the cause was - it might just be that they're worn and/or I need to switch over to winter tyres, but if there's no ready explanation that may well be the end of my wet weather cycling for the winter - I'm happy to cycle on dry cold days, but I'm a bit gun-shy about another day like today. The bizarre thing about it was that it was nowhere near as wet today as other days that I've cycled without incident, so I don't really know why it was so twitchy today.




(* yes I do know what "literally" literally means, and I using it literally)
(** Rapid Involuntary Mass Ejection)

Yo Garth, we don't need another Evil Knievel. 
Seriously, glad you lived to post about it.

Starting Weight: 271 Pounds

Week 1 - 270.5
Week 1 - 272.5 (Monday, after the 4th)
Week 2 - 270.5
Week 3 - 269.2
Week 4 - 268.0
Week 5 - 267.5
Week 6 - 266.0
Week 7 – 265.0
Week 8 - ?
Week 9 – 263.0
Week 10 – 262.4
Week 11 – 262.0
Week 12 – 262.0
Week 13 - 261.5
Week 14 – 261.1
Week 15 - 260.3
Week 16 - 259.5


I only had one match this week and we defeated the Water Bearers again by the score of 27 to 21. I scored a hat trick that match and assisted on 2 other goals too. Haven't been eating that much except one day that I ate a medium size pizza in one setting because of that match and helping a friend moving. Despite that, I went to gym today and walked 3 miles, rode a stationary bike, and did weights to help me to throw the ball a little stronger. Water Polo next week will be back in full swing and I have three matches next week.

Down to 259.5

Through the 183 mark for a new low of 182.4 (-37.6 from high) this morning. My weight seems to be behaving like my (ancient) history on video game high-scores - a new best, then a series of numbers that aren't as good followed by a breakthrough, rinse and repeat.

Must admit, I'm starting to crave sweet stuff at the moment, which hasn't really been the case for the last few months. That's one of the ways it all went wrong last time...