Starting to think this is the beginning of the end for me. I'm knee deep in the school year and feeling stressed, having less time to shop and cook right, feeling the urge to eat more now that the temperature is dropping and hibernation mode is kicking in, and, worst yet, I haven't lost a pound in over four weeks. I'm losing my willpower left and right and cheating regularly. I'll give it a half-hearted try again next week, but this may be the end for me.

Thanks, man.

In my news, I think/hope I'm starting to get off my plateau - this morning I'm down to 191, again, this which makes a nett gain of 0.4 lbs since 24-Sep, which is not exactly stellar progress, but at least going in the right direction again.

An evening on the beer and curry looms tonight, followed by lunch with family tomorrow, so probably straight back onto the plateau, but these things have to be done (I'm sure it's part of Britain's "unwritten constitution", or something high falutin' like that).

Thanks much, guys. I'm not really sure how to respond or what I'm feeling about any of this, but all you've said is resonating in major ways. I appreciate your words, support, and advice more than you know.

When I graduated from high school, I weighed about 160 pounds. I weighed as much as 200 pounds by the time I was 24-25. I began a regiment of green tea and peanuts for about six months and brought myself down to 170 or so. I met the evilest woman in the world, when I was a little over 25 and within six months she was my wife. Fast forward ten years and I had been divorced once and further into my second marriage than I had been into my first. I was 5'9" and weighing in at 215 LBS. When my size 38 pants became too tight one morning, mid-March 2014, I decided for once and for all that I desperately needed to lose weight. I immediately cut out hard liquor, started drinking about a gallon of coffee a day, and reduced my daily calorie consumption to 1750. By Thanksgiving I was weighing in at 163 LBS. Today I am about 160 LBS. It is not easy. It takes a tremendous amount of will power to deprive myself of all the calorie laden treats that fill the landscape. I usually eat one Jimmy Dean low-fat breakfast sandwich and two packets of oatmeal, while at work. When I get home, I usually devour a handful of peanuts and an apple, before eating dinner. I usually eat ultra-lean turkey meat or 96/4 hamburger. Did you know that a pound of 96/4 hamburger only has a 530 calories, of which only 160 are fat? I have done virtually no exercise to lose my weight; it is all diet. I have had co-workers and family members ask me if I am dying of cancer or some sort of wasting disease. All I can say is that it feels great. Now I can run. I feel invincible, even though I am relatively weak when compared with other men my age.

Cooked my meals for the next three days and had an on-diet dinner tonight. Gonna try this thing again...

Day 139

Today's weigh-in: 234 lbs (+4 from all-time low) <-- pretty much where I usually find myself after a weekend of being off-diet.

31 lbs down / 54 to go



I decided to try taking body measurements again (first tried this twelve days ago), but I'm finding that getting a consistent measurement is even harder than getting a consistent weight. Here's what I think I am today vs. two weeks ago:

Day 127: Waist = 46", chest = 43.5"
Day 139: Waist = 45.9", chest = 42.5"

So it's possible I've lost something there. Also very possible I'm just not measuring consistently.

One bright spot in all of this: last week, an older female teacher at school randomly stopped me and said "You've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" Nice older woman I've always thought of as very sweet. Anyway, immediately after saying this, her eyes went up, down, and all around, completely oggling me. I haven't been "checked out" by someone since college. It was...weird. But I also take it as a sign of progress.