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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2020 21:23:57 GMT -5
It's time to go to the PUNientiary...  -M |
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Post by Rob Allen on Apr 29, 2020 13:03:35 GMT -5
continuing in that vein...
"Forty Yards to the Goal Line" by Willie Makit and Betty Woant
"How to Catch Butterflies" by Annette Andajar
"Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butz
"The Open Kimono" by Seymour Belli
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Post by EdoBosnar on Apr 29, 2020 14:47:13 GMT -5
(...) "Forty Yards to the Goal Line" by Willie Makit and Betty Woant (...) "Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butz Back in elementary school, the variations of these two that I heard were: "Race to the Can" and "Under the Grandstand"
There was also: "Rupture Down Below" by Jacques Tutite
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Post by Roquefort Raider on May 19, 2020 16:28:40 GMT -5
Okay, this is a little childish... but it’s also beautifully creative, and I admit I laughed till I cried! Twice! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 1:30:24 GMT -5
 -M |
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Post by Roquefort Raider on Jun 9, 2020 6:10:15 GMT -5
A fun game I just saw on the net:
Google "Florida Man" plus your birthday ("9 June") and check what the first headline says. As my wife observed, "there's clearly a lot happening in Florida."
In my family's case:
- Florida Man trying to kiss a poisonous snake gets bitten
- Naked Florida Man burns self while dancing in fire
- Florida man chugs entire bottle of wine in liquor store
- Florida Man allegedly slaps woman with bowl of chili
and for our cat...
-Drunk man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne.
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Post by Roquefort Raider on Jul 13, 2020 9:25:19 GMT -5
(Source unknown, but pretty funny).
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'..
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Post by Prince Hal on Jul 13, 2020 9:47:47 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2020 21:31:39 GMT -5
 -M |
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Post by sabongero on Aug 3, 2020 8:44:43 GMT -5
Oh man, I could really use a good joke right now. I've been running on empty on really LOL jokes the last few weeks.
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Post by brutalis on Aug 3, 2020 10:25:48 GMT -5
Oh man, I could really use a good joke right now. I've been running on empty on really LOL jokes the last few weeks. The forthcoming presidential race this year not joke enough for you?!?🤯 |
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Post by sabongero on Aug 3, 2020 10:48:41 GMT -5
Oh man, I could really use a good joke right now. I've been running on empty on really LOL jokes the last few weeks. The forthcoming presidential race this year not joke enough for you?!?🤯 Okay okay I have to admit that was a good one. I could use that in a punchline somewhere.  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2020 23:36:48 GMT -5
 -M |
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Post by brutalis on Aug 14, 2020 5:51:07 GMT -5
Wonder who the bonehead was that pulled that boner of a mistake? 😉
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2020 21:53:53 GMT -5
 -M |
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